advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-04-2021, 08:13 PM   #1
MrsA
Member
MrsA has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2019
Location: Nevada
Posts: 299
2 yr Member
394 hugs
given
Default Help! How to get someone with ADHD to clean their messes?

Hi. I have suspected for a long time that someone in my family has adult ADHD but they refuse to get any kind of mental health assessment. The main problems with this person is dangerous impulsiveness (like suddenly shoving you into a road) and serious lack of hygiene. The hygiene is the issue I'm having the hardest time dealing with.

This person only wants to work on things that interest them while filth literally piles up around them. Their living quarters has wall to wall garbage and dirty laundry that is soaking wet with pet urine and there is almost always poop among the clutter on the floor. They even throw dog poop in wastebaskets and keep piling on trash until it overflows on the floor.

When asked to clean or help out with chores, they always say they have something else to do and if I don't back down immediately they throw tantrums, call me names, and make threats. I can't keep up with the cleaning on my own so the parts of the house the only this person uses is always so dirty that you could not imagine how bad it is. I know we can't be certain without a diagnosis, but if this is ADHD, does anyone have suggestions on getting someone like this to clean up after themselves?

Their bedroom is definitely a health hazard, the bathroom has 3-4 months worth of sanitary napkins that they refuse to take out for trash pickup and they leave urine soaked bedding around that grows mold (their dog was never completely housebroken) but the rest of the family will not back me up if I try to force them to get a mental health assessment. They can see their dog pee on the floor and then blame someone else for the all the urine on the floor and seem to believe it's really your fault when logically they must know they are lying.

It's illogical to choose to live in a pile of soaking wet smelly garbage when it takes 1\2 minute to carry out the trash once a week and a few minutes to do load of laundry. And if she threw sanitary napkins in the trash that I take out every week, it would make her life easier. But instead she makes her own trash pile 2 feet away and gets angry when asked to pick them up. If anyone is familiar with this sort of problem, how do you get someone like this to do normal things that they think is unreasonable?

Thanks for reading.
MrsA is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:

advertisement
Old 04-05-2021, 02:10 AM   #2
unaluna
Elder Harridan x-hankster
 
unaluna's Avatar
unaluna The UNA in Florida - Please, dont @mention me?Thanks!
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 35,797 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
56.1k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Help! How to get someone with ADHD to clean their messes?

Call the city and report them for animal abuse or to have the house condemned if they dont clean it up. Its a health hazard. Or its proof the person cannot take care of themself.
unaluna is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 04-08-2021, 03:37 PM   #3
imchet
Member
imchet has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: US
Posts: 36
3 yr Member
Default Re: Help! How to get someone with ADHD to clean their messes?

I would highly suggest you either meet with a county social worker, go to your country social services. Or call adult protective services. The situation you describe is very serious and potentially life threatening.

Go to napsa-now.org

Help In Your Area | National Adult Protective Services Association

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
imchet is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-08-2021, 07:35 PM   #4
SearchingforMe
Member
 
SearchingforMe's Avatar
SearchingforMe has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 35
5 yr Member
24 hugs
given
Default Re: Help! How to get someone with ADHD to clean their messes?

I don't think this is just ADHD. It sounds more serious and very dangerous if they are shoving you in the road. I agree with the previous poster that you need external help.
SearchingforMe is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-23-2021, 01:10 PM   #5
Zipper dog
Member
Zipper dog has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2021
Location: Silver City
Posts: 38
30 hugs
given
Default Re: Help! How to get someone with ADHD to clean their messes?

I agree with what is written above. There is some serious mental illness going on plus hoarding.
Zipper dog is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 06-06-2021, 04:13 AM   #6
MrsA
Member
MrsA has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2019
Location: Nevada
Posts: 299
2 yr Member
394 hugs
given
Default Re: Help! How to get someone with ADHD to clean their messes?

Thanks for the suggestions. I have thought seriously before of trying to get someone kind of official help, but I haven't gone through with it because it's their word against mine and it will make an ugly public dispute. And a lawyer in the family won't back me up on this. But I thought about threatening to sue for a mental health evaluation this week when I picked up the mountain of sanitary napkins and I'm trying to exterminate the mice thst live in their room now.

At least I learned a long time ago not to stand near them in places where a push could be fatal (like the top of staircases) and I always unplug power tools if they come in the room because I'm afraid of being pushed onto one. And I really appreciate everyone here believing what I said about the situation is real. I have a family who try to convince people that I'm crazy because I get mad when they attack me so it's always nice to be believed.
MrsA is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:26 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun on Psych Central in 2001. It now runs as an independent community, overseen by a group of volunteers & Dr. John Grohol.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.