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MrsA
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Default Apr 04, 2021 at 08:13 PM
  #1
Hi. I have suspected for a long time that someone in my family has adult ADHD but they refuse to get any kind of mental health assessment. The main problems with this person is dangerous impulsiveness (like suddenly shoving you into a road) and serious lack of hygiene. The hygiene is the issue I'm having the hardest time dealing with.

This person only wants to work on things that interest them while filth literally piles up around them. Their living quarters has wall to wall garbage and dirty laundry that is soaking wet with pet urine and there is almost always poop among the clutter on the floor. They even throw dog poop in wastebaskets and keep piling on trash until it overflows on the floor.

When asked to clean or help out with chores, they always say they have something else to do and if I don't back down immediately they throw tantrums, call me names, and make threats. I can't keep up with the cleaning on my own so the parts of the house the only this person uses is always so dirty that you could not imagine how bad it is. I know we can't be certain without a diagnosis, but if this is ADHD, does anyone have suggestions on getting someone like this to clean up after themselves?

Their bedroom is definitely a health hazard, the bathroom has 3-4 months worth of sanitary napkins that they refuse to take out for trash pickup and they leave urine soaked bedding around that grows mold (their dog was never completely housebroken) but the rest of the family will not back me up if I try to force them to get a mental health assessment. They can see their dog pee on the floor and then blame someone else for the all the urine on the floor and seem to believe it's really your fault when logically they must know they are lying.

It's illogical to choose to live in a pile of soaking wet smelly garbage when it takes 1\2 minute to carry out the trash once a week and a few minutes to do load of laundry. And if she threw sanitary napkins in the trash that I take out every week, it would make her life easier. But instead she makes her own trash pile 2 feet away and gets angry when asked to pick them up. If anyone is familiar with this sort of problem, how do you get someone like this to do normal things that they think is unreasonable?

Thanks for reading.
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Default Apr 05, 2021 at 02:10 AM
  #2
Call the city and report them for animal abuse or to have the house condemned if they dont clean it up. Its a health hazard. Or its proof the person cannot take care of themself.
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Default Apr 08, 2021 at 03:37 PM
  #3
I would highly suggest you either meet with a county social worker, go to your country social services. Or call adult protective services. The situation you describe is very serious and potentially life threatening.

Go to napsa-now.org

Help In Your Area | National Adult Protective Services Association

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Default Apr 08, 2021 at 07:35 PM
  #4
I don't think this is just ADHD. It sounds more serious and very dangerous if they are shoving you in the road. I agree with the previous poster that you need external help.
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Default Apr 23, 2021 at 01:10 PM
  #5
I agree with what is written above. There is some serious mental illness going on plus hoarding.
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Default Jun 06, 2021 at 04:13 AM
  #6
Thanks for the suggestions. I have thought seriously before of trying to get someone kind of official help, but I haven't gone through with it because it's their word against mine and it will make an ugly public dispute. And a lawyer in the family won't back me up on this. But I thought about threatening to sue for a mental health evaluation this week when I picked up the mountain of sanitary napkins and I'm trying to exterminate the mice thst live in their room now.

At least I learned a long time ago not to stand near them in places where a push could be fatal (like the top of staircases) and I always unplug power tools if they come in the room because I'm afraid of being pushed onto one. And I really appreciate everyone here believing what I said about the situation is real. I have a family who try to convince people that I'm crazy because I get mad when they attack me so it's always nice to be believed.
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