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Old 09-06-2021, 03:17 PM   #1
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Default Make It Through a Dinner!! Help.

Help! I have to go to yet another mandatory social thing which is going to bore me to tears and I can't get out of it. The older I get, the harder it is to be patient and you know patience for someone with ADD is nearly impossible.
It's older people whom my husband is friends with: They love to sit around and talk endlessly about politics and covid. Endlessly. END...LESS....LY!

I have nothing to offer to the conversation because I don't care, but it's impossible for me not to fidget, sigh heavily or not fall asleep. All of that is considered rude so the entire time I'm going to be masking while worrying if I'm making a rude gesture or expression. It's maddening and so stressful!!

Are there any tricks to making it through this dinner? I just know the old man and my husband are going to spend hours freaking about the news and covid. They're going to talk about it allllllllllllllll night. ALL NIGHT.

And these people never do anything when we're invited over. No playing cards, or a game or watch a's just sit and talk.

How do you all make it through these things?
Higher functioning autism (Aspie)
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Old 09-06-2021, 06:28 PM   #2
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Default Re: Make It Through a Dinner!! Help.

ugh! what a nightmare this has got to be for you to go thru! ive been in nearly the same type situations before myself and man you are right it was not at all fun!
is there any opportunity for you to help do dishes or get another beverage for someone or refresh the snack bowls or so forth during the course of the evening? or can you just take it upon yourself to assume the responsibility and take the task and do those type things on your own ? is there any interesting objects or gardens or such where you will be at that you could wander over to and linger around looking at for a while?
its not a good idea to do but you could interfer in the conversation and keep asking questions and offering thoughts and perhaps the distraction of you doing that will get them frustrated enough they will just give up trying to continue talking and cut the evening shorter than it would have been had they kept on talking ?
can you fane feeling ill? can you take seperate vehicles and you go home early and he can stay as long as he wants to?
can you just point blank explain to him that its boaring for you to go do nothing while he has a great time chatting with his pal so how about you stsy home and he go have fun by himself like he does anyway while you go and just watch him have fun & all you get to do all night is sit here being board to the point of having to keep yourself from falling asleep!
surely he will see the logic in that and head out on his own.
it isnt that you dont want to go along with him to attend the evening.. its not you dont enjoy going out & doing things with him.. its just his friend his way to get to enjoy the evening.. all you get out of going is you get to sit there being miserable all night.
id go for just tell it like it is.. its either you go and you are mad about that or you stsy home and he is mad about that.. or hes glad you spoke up and explained how you felt about going and says you stay home and neither of you get mad.
go for it it cant make you side of the matters any worse to at least speak your peace and see what goes on from there.
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Old 09-06-2021, 07:32 PM   #3
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Default Re: Make It Through a Dinner!! Help.

I think I'd have a sore throat just before! It sounds miserable.
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Old 09-06-2021, 10:43 PM   #4
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Default Re: Make It Through a Dinner!! Help.

I would take my phone and say, "oh, interesting point, let me google that!" Then never get back to the conversation, just go back to reading an online book.
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