Adhd Struggles for Mid 20s Lady

Hello to whoever stumbled across this. I am a lady in her mid 20s just trying to navigate through life best she can! I grew up in a pretty yell-y house hold and knew that love in my house was conditional. I knew that in order to avoid conflict I needed to please others and put my needs aside. That said I went to college right away and chose a career choice as soon as possible because I saw how my older sister was treated when she suggested taking a gap year or not finishing college. So I decided in high-school senior year that becoming a pilot would be my new life goal. I joined aviation and struggle through the program for 5 years. One of my flight instructors noticed that I got stuck on a lesson and wasn't sure why the issue wasn't the same everytime and didn't know how to help. He asked if there was anything going on at home or if there could be anything preventing me from progressing. I suggested that I may have dyslexia since my mom has it and he told me that I needed to get a nuerological exam to make sure. After a year of waiting to get tested and then going through all the testing and getting results I was diagnosed with ADHD (again. As I had been diagnosed at the age of 6 but was told by my parents that I "grew out of having ADHD" around middle school) at some point or another a different flight instructor that I had was getting frustrated because I was struggle to pass a very important exam and he asked if there were anything causing this issue, so I told him about the most recent diagnosis and was told by the chief instructor to call the FAA. I was forced to stop until I got my medical certificate cleared, but I would have needed to jump through a lot of hoops and pay out of pocket for required nuerological testing that I cannot afford. I felt awful that I had attempted to go into a career that is very expensive and never followed through. My parents aren't upset at me but they want me to work in something that (my mom) can be proud of. It's not very easy for me to just choose another career again and hope for the best, I am in a transitional period in my life and slowly but surely I am searching for a career that suits me well. Overall I am surviving but my adhd makes my day to day unpredictable, (even with starting up medication again) and something that is always on the back of my mind is finding true love. I think of myself as a hopeless romantic and believ that people just want to love and be loved but it has been very difficult for me to find love. I have only ever had 1 boyfriend and he didn't treat me well. I often cry when thinking about some awful memories that I had with him. But of course relationships are complex. I also have a limerent mind and subconsciously place certain individuals on pedestals, and my mind blurs the lines between reality and imagination. When thinking about certain people, typically intimate partners. Right now in my life I crave a healthy loving relationship but since i can't just have it right here and now I seek validation though strangers online and then feel extremely empty or guilty after. But in the moment those compliments or false words of affirmation feel good. I came here because on Google I was reaching for hopeless romantic foums and clicked on the first link. I know this isn't quite what I was looking for originally but I hope that I can Maybe get some feedback here

Welcome!

I'm amazed about how much I learn about myself from others here. In this case, I've discovered "Limerence" after searchig on "limerent mind," which I've never heard before. I just realized that I'd experienced this from about age 11 to my early 20s. So thank you for that! (But I can't help you with it -- it seems to have gone away on its own, somehow.)

Have you heard about ADDitude magazine? I'm on their email list, partly for my own sake and partly for my 20+ yo daughter's. (She was diagnosed with mild autism at age 3.5, but also is limited by ADHD.) Some of the coping advice seems reasonable and effective. I've spent decades trying to hack my 60-year-old mind. I know that basic things like plenty of sleep, low carb (or complex carb) meals, timers, certain music (or silence) benefit me. Maybe ADDitude has helpful insights for you.

I've wasted too much time and effort trying to be "normal" -- I hope you don't make that mistake. After 50 years or so I've decided to own "My Weirdness" and it's not my problem if someone doesn't like it. I wrote on my blog that ADHD is my Superpower a while back. I encourage you to ROCK your uniqueness with pride. Because of your unique perspective, there are things that seem obvious to you that most people have no clue about.

So, career and love -- is that all? LOL Stay, mingle and have fun here. Good luck