[eanirma]

I’m a 27-year-old female, and I feel that my life is collapsing due to ADD, but I can't afford to seek help.


I’ve been experiencing ADD (inattentive type) related symptoms as far as I can remember… all through my childhood. I didn’t complete my university degree because I just couldn’t get down to finishing assignments and getting to class.

My partner and I have been together 10 years and we run a business together; I’ve managed to get my act together somewhat and we’re starting to make things work slowly.


But some things just don’t seem to work. I can’t concentrate on any project and just can’t sit down and finish what I have to do. I write list after list, and get nothing done. The things that I do manage to focus on (hyperfocus on, rather) and complete, I do really well – but that’s very rare. Almost every dream and project I’ve started on hasn’t been completed. My fridge, closet, and bag are almost always a mess. The only thing that sooths and calms my mind is music.

My partner and I have a great relationship in every aspect, but my absent-mindedness leads to huge problems for us. I’m always daydreaming and I forget to turn off taps and light switches; I leave things behind, can never find my keys, I don’t look when I’m crossing the street… and just today, I went to the ATM to withdraw some cash, and forgot where I put the money (and it was a considerable amount). I don’t know if I dropped it, or if I left it in the ATM and didn’t collect it.

It’s so hard because we’re trying to get our business off the ground and we can’t afford to lose any money to carelessness. My partner tells me that it’s really difficult being with me when I’m like this, and that I’m like a kid, and he always has to double-check everything I do. I feel so bad that I keep screwing up and that I lost all that money, but I just don’t know what to do. Even when I tell myself to always pay attention to what I’m doing, I end up being absent-minded again.

I don’t know what to do; every time I tell myself to try harder, wake up earlier, and be more organized, I just screw it up and feel even worse about it. It’s affecting me in real, serious ways – especially losing large amounts of cash. At this moment, I can’t afford to seek professional help or to go on any medication.

I would really appreciate if anybody could give me some suggestions or help – something that I can do in my everyday life to make this better. I can’t continue like this; I’ve lost enough in my life (materially and emotionally) already, and it’s putting a strain on my relationship, too.


Please give me any suggestions you can.


Thanks very much.

[sunrise]

Hi dolcevita,

There are some good threads in this forum with tips for ADHD symptoms.

This is a thread on procrastination with an article I like in the very first post called "The Problem with Procrastination":
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showt...rocrastination
I thought the article gave me insights into my behavior and had some good tips for dealing with procrastination, disorganization, etc.

You could try just going to your GP and describing your symptoms. Some GPs will prescribe for ADHD and not require a visit to a psychologist. Not all, but some. There are a number of stimulant medications prescribed for ADHD, such as Ritalin, that are now generic and don't cost much, e.g. $5 at a place like Wal-Mart. You could also get a prescription discount card, for example:
http://www.yourrxcard.com/

Best of luck.

Hi DD,

I read your post a couple of nights ago and your the reason Im here today. I relate to everything you shared and was laughing very deeply when I read your post . probably inaapropriate affect.

I noticed you joined quite a while ago. I hope you on't get distracted and procrastinate aout returning. LOL.

Just want to jot a quick reply .I plan on sharing more soon.

Im so glad you shared so openly. You are not alone.

Aurora

Good morning Ddolcevvita,

I hope you found your money tucked away in a book.

What an unusual name. Makes me want to know more . I wrote out a response to your post last night , but I think Its around three pages . So This morning I was trying to think about how to condence it . Then i thought about a poem I wrote that I needed and the journal was i a bag in my truck . Well I couldn't find my keys. I have four sets . one in the glove compartment . one in a magnetic box under in a secure secrct iron railng . The other one thats supposed to be i my desk drawer is missing and my usual one . so I spent an hour looking inbetween a few walter mitty moments. I finally found them . They were in the bathroom sink. Which told me i had not washed my face or brushed my teeth yet. I did have breackfast but it ws not sitting down and I did just have one breackfast. I did not fix coffe though and I forgot to feed my dog. I fed my baby and appologized and fixed my cup of coffee. Gosh geepers My one time to skate for the week is fast aproaching so heres one bit of help.

One day when I was hitting abottom crying and frustrated I walked into barnes and Nobel my eyes screamming HELP. Fengshei books passed my eyes I had purchased a few of those with dreams of high hopes.

I found this book called

"ADD -Friendly ways to organize Your life"

ByJudith Kolberg & Kathleen Nadeau, PH.d.

I can tell you this because the books in front of me . Ddolcevvita . ask me to repeat it right now without looking and i cannot.

So I pulled up a peice of the floor and my tears turned to laughter .

I would call this the Big Book of ADHD

These two women are like Anne at the well and Im Helen keller. Only its not a gush from a pump its a water fall . I finnaly have words to eplain me .and some creative solutions to make things a bit easier.

Gotta Go . coffees done.
Ill be back again after I eddit out my three pages.

Im so grateful you showed up. Ddolcevvita.

Oh BYW, the journal in the bag in my truck ..wrong one .

Aurora

[Heimish]

you can go to your regular doctor and ask him to give you a stimulate medicine. it will be very helpful.

[chaotic13]

Hi dolcevita,

I am a firm believer in checklist. Especially with regard to work related tasks. Can you and your partner create some simple checklist for handling certain critical tasks (i.e. handling money deposits). Then not matter what, when you handle one of theses tasks you physically check off all actions.

I've had trouble with losing ATM cards, misplacing money and keys..etc. Providing yourself with some structure at home can be helpful. For example, when I enter the house I have a designated place to put my keys. No matter what is going on, upon entering the house my keys are immediately put on the hook by the door. As for ATM cards, I no longer have one. It is a pain in the butt, but when I need money I have to go to the bank. Luckily my bank has tellers all over the place and have extended hours in the supermarket where I shop. Shopping check list, very important. Also, I recently invested in a new cell phone with a good calender function. I can connect it to my work desktop and synch my outlook calender with my phone. This has been VERY helpful in insuring that I don't miss important meetings and appointments. Also, as with my keys, My phone is either clipped to my hip or placed in its designated area to avoid losing it or searching for it everyday.

I would make a list of critical issues that really affect your life... then develop strategies for how to make them more efficient.

Finally, I would make the suggestion to you to look closely at the "my absent-mindedness leads to huge problems for us." statement. Some of the things that you listed here do not seem to be huge problems...unless your partner is a bit annal. It is ok for you to rely on you partner to have your back on some things as long as they are not hounding you constantly. Bottom line... if you have ADHD its a package deal...he/she needs to decide to love ya or leave ya. I'm sure their not perfect.

As for the lights left on...install a motion sensor or timer that shuts them off for you. It's a one time cost, you can likely figure out how to do it yourself, it will pay for itself eventually in reduced electricity.

If you need suggestions on other things, post them! We like brainstorming...especially when we are supposed to be doing something else.

Welcome to PC... don't be so hard on your self when you mess up either! I think there is a post on this thread that contains the "ADVANTAGES" of having ADHD. You might make up a list of these for your partner. Then when he/she rags you or you are feeling bad about forgetting something you can review this list and remind yourself how great you are at other things.

Originally Posted by ddolcevvita

I’m a 27-year-old female, and I feel that my life is collapsing due to ADD, but I can't afford to seek help.

Hi DD

I had a new response for you last night. A five pager I believe and I got timed out.

Sound familar? s now I am out of time but Ill drop this by. If you have a University teaching hospital near by they usually have a sliding scale for those like you and myself who are self employed with out insurance .

It would be nice to be able to get insurace for the punctually challanged wouldn't it?

For me the difficulty is finding my finacial paper work and well lets say I should surrender to a book keeper but Im small potatoes catch my drift?

hear you about the Loss. Its fresh on my mind. I hear your fear of maybe Loosing your SO as well .But hes stuck by you this far.

Im on my way to a teaching dental clinic that has a sliding scale. Today.

Its an hour drive .

Il be back. to share more about papers and presentaions and incompletes etc.

in the mean tme. I don't own a cell phone . thank goodness for that! I do have acalling card though and well yes you can just imagine..

It has a hole punched in the top corner with a thin feather boa strung through it. Light pink... Neon pinks not my style . Besides it clashes with all my neon sticky notes that wall paper my walls and the shiney ribbons hanging every where. I'd get a parrot but the shiney ribbons... don't know...

can't you hear him now?

"finish what you start . and start what you finish" Crack!

"A place for everything and nothing in its palce" Crack

"Finish . finish" Crack

I could get a beeper , but does it come with a leash? geesh!

Now see. My tears have turned to laughter...

Aurora