[scatterbrained]

Where to start?

BACKGROUND: I have battled with depression since I can remember. I have been on meds for about 8 years and doing so much better. I've tried to get off several times and went into what I call my "black hole". I finally figured out I have to have my meds to survive.

I never even considered ADD. I thought ADD was a hyper kid that could't sit still. I didn't even know adults could have it. About a month ago I was reading a community magazine and I saw an article that cought my eye, The AD/HD Parent. I started to read the article and realized that a lot of it sounded exactly like me. I felt as if they were writing about me. I guess it never occurred to me that there are different types of AD/HD. I guess you could say I would be considered the "Inattentive Type." I just thought that my failing memory and "brain fog" was due to having children. You know, I lost my memory during pregnancy and never got it back. It also doesn't help that I have not worked in 5 years (I am a stay at home mom) so I don't have as much adult interaction. Most of my day consists of having conversation with my 3 and 5 year old. I never could quite put my finger on what was wrong but always knew something just wasn't quite right. Mostly I struggle with making decisions, not huge ones, just your average every day things. It is a major task for me to figure out which errand I'm going to run first; should I pick up the dry cleaning, go to the pharmacy or take a shower. I know it sounds completely crazy but I feel overwhelmed. The same is true with daily house cleaning and taking care of the kids. I also have a horrible time managing my time. It seems I'm always running late. I cannot even get my kids to preschool on time twice a week. They are atleast half an hour late no matter what time I get up. I feel like a horrible mother. I feel so guilty all the time. I can't even keep my house clean or get my bills paid on time.

Silly quirks: (What is wrong with me?)
WARNING: I'm just going to skip from subject to subject.
The odd thing is that I am so **** about some things. My towels have to be folded a certain way, kids toys in a specific place (my daughter's plastic animals are all catagorized in bins according to silly things: farm animals, jungle animals, house pets, etc.) I have to have the mayonaise spread exactly evely and to the crust -- I make the prettiest sandwiches around. Hey, I found something I'm good at! I can also be pretty compulsive, I bought over 100 Cabbage Patch Kids on EBay. Who in their right mind needs that many dolls? I am so forgetful, if it's not written down I forget. I can't go to sleep at a decent hour and when I do I can't stay asleep. I often am bad about interrupting people when talking because if I don't say what I have to say right then I forget. I also jump from one subject to the next for no apparent reason. I will think something and it just pops out of my mouth, it makes sence to me but no one else. I can't talk on the phone while the TV is on, I get to distracted. I have to read things several times because I will start thinking about something else. I am easily frustrated and annoyed. Yesterday I was in Wal-Mart and was so overwhelmed (where do I go first, clothing, shoes, groceries, etc.) that I nearly went back home. I actually felt like I had butterflies in my stomach. I can't stay focused on what I'm doing. I can start doing laundry then switch to the dishes, then to bills, then picking up, but never seem to finish any one of them.

Can anyone point me in the right directin? What type of doctor I should see. I feel embarrased even telling a doctor how messed up I am. I just want to be "NORMAL"

[scatterbrained]

I forgot to ask if there is some kind of test or something to figure out if I am ADD? (I scored a 77 on the ADD test here) If so can I do this with my family doctor or do I have to see a specialist?

P.S. I love to hear your stories, it makes me feel I'm not so alone.

Thank you for time!

[scatterbrained]

Well, it's me again. I did go to the doctor today and he thinks I have ADD. I will start on Stratera next week. (Have to see how the new dose of Wellbutrin works out first- see if I have any side affects) I am thrilled to know I might have a chance of being "normal"

Anyone out there have good results with Stratera? I have no idea what to expect?

[flowers601]

Tonight has been a hard night for me. Searching the net, trying to find out what has been wrong with me. I scored really high on the assessment.. I am going to make a dr appointment tomorrow. After reading your post, I had to join.. I live your life! I am not alone.

Sitting here crying tonight!

Thank You!

[flowers601]

"I will think something and it just pops out of my mouth, it makes since to me but no one else."

My god, after 31 years.. I thought I was just stupid.. that my foot belonged in my mouth all the time..LOL

why cant I stop crying? Is this what has been wrong with me all my life?

[HealingSoul]

Hey Scatterbrained!
I am on Strattera, was on Wellbutrin before to help the symptoms of depression... Wellbutrin and I didn't get along though lol I became even more moodier than before!

The Strattera seems to be working out though, they started me on 40 mg for 3 days now I am up to 80mg
I noticed my moods are alot better, and I am more calm.
The focusing problem is only easing up a little bit.

If the Strattera alone does'nt work for you, then you might want to talk to your D.R. about adding a small dose of a stimulant.

[Joepesto]

Start reading. Driven to Distraction is a great place to start. And even though I have trouble reading, i could read this because it was about me and the way I was living my life. Another book and I cant remember the exact title is "You mean I m not stupid dumb or lazy. That is a very good book.

After that call Psychaitrists in your area and find out if they specialize id ADD. If not, do go there. More and more the medical community is waking up to the fact the we as adults can have ADD/ADHD. Good news, you will become more organized, lists work great. Post on the fridge each morning and check them off as you do them. Schedule everything. and dont forget to read it!

Then begin checking out your creative side. I think you will be pleasantly suprised. I was. I knew something was there all my life and now had "permission" to explore.

Bad news, It seems to be hard wired. Just today I really mess up by saying something I shouldnt have and have been feeling way to guilty for it. Good luck your on the right track. Your life gets better from here.

[treadingwater]

There's nothing wrong with you.Wherever did you get that idea?Be kind to yourself all the time.Not always easy but we can do it.I fight everyday.And sometimes i lose but more often i win.

[treadingwater]

After much deliberation i have concluded that you are not a Martian or a bad mother!I asked my shrink if i had add and his reply was that it is a much "too commonly diagonosed disease".I'll take his word.I have OCD so i know what your going through.I say that because i have a serious OCD.One that has driven me round the bend to put it it mildly.I thank GOD for this haven to communicate and relateBefore this we were awash in a sea of turmoil.Thank GOD for everything we have and our lives.Didn't mean to get religious but thats where i am!!!!!!!

[flowers601]

"commonly diagnosed disease" .. I think almost any DR would say some kinds of "diseases" are commonly diagnosed or misdiagnosed. I feel as long as I have a good Dr that is willing to put forth the time into my issues to "help" whatever is going on with me and help "fix" me, I really don't care what the medical community wants to call it.

I feel like my life is upside down and no one understands. Just found out at age 31 I have ADD, found old report cards and they all point to it as a child. Now, I am just a ball of depression.. trying to fight my way back to feeling good.

Kathy

[odyssey]

I am printing your post because I have tried to tell my doc about this for months now and end up feeling stupid and can't get it out. I can not concentrate, I'm easily irritated, can't remember if I took medication, can't remember what happened 2 days ago, can't remember where I'm going or what I'm doing half of the time and I am always "flying by the seat of my pants". It's exhausting and I'm TIRED!!!!!

Anyway, you aren't alone, I've been diagnosed with Depression, but I have all of these symptoms that Prozac isn't helping. Maybe I can finally explain it to the doc.

K

[odyssey]

After seeing what your score was on the quiz here online, I went in and took the quiz and my score is a freakish 103. I didn't realize that ADD could be an adult thing. It's definately worth looking in to. I have felt for years that my brain was off a little. I can't even complete a thought, much less a task. Things make me nervous, in stores, I'll have half of the groceries in the cart and then all of the sudden I'll remember I really need to get the oil changed in the van and want to leave the store and leave the cart full right there in the middle of the store. I actually did that one day 2 weeks ago. A store here in town was having a going out of business sale and I went in and had all this stuff in my cart that my kids like for lunch and snacks and so on, really good prices. Then, out of nowhere I decided I really didn't want to buy that stuff right now because I had a nail appointment in half an hour so just left the cart and left the store. Didn't even make it to the nail salon because I remembered I needed bread and sandwich meat for the kids lunches, so stopped at a different grocery store and then went home. There has to be an end to this!!!!!

Again....YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!

My mom has always called me High-strung. Of course I hate that.

k

[Crazy_Charlie]

So many out there with these problems... it is so painful to see. I am actually writing an article about the extremeties in the adult world of ADHD. About the ADHD kids that were never seen, either because they were ADD, or because they were at a bad school and had bad parents. They grew up knowing they were different but not what, and no one cared. It aches a bit when I read your posts, my patients and my article were the extremes, what about all those in between? I met so many, and it was probably just the top of the iceberg. The little top that is visible because their problems kick them out on the wrong side of the law. If I had a dollar for everytime I felt like shaking a nurse or a guard in the prison I worked in and shout: you MUST understand that you can't compare this person with your perfect child! You MUST understand that they really really do have a problem and the LAW require that they get help.

I hope you understand that I don't mean to say (or even ask if) that any of you have done criminal act. I just wonder how many painful stories is it out there that are underneath the visible surface? It's almost scary to think of how many victims it is affected of this thing.

[January]

Hi,

I just found the descripton for AADD the other day. My pic shou <font color="green"> </font> ld be beside it in the Dictionary! I was dx'd bipolar, but apparently they get mixed up in diagnosis a lot.

I don't want you to have it, but you gave a perfect description of me. Maybe we can keep track of each other and see how we're doing. I can't get in to see my Dr. until the first week of Feb.

Lists help. Cross things off as you get things done. I use sticky notes a lot. I write something important that I can't afford to forget and stick it on the bathroom mirror. When I have to take something with me in the car, I put the item in front of the door. That way I'll trip over it if I don't pick it up.

I can't manage to keep the apt straightened up because I go from one task to the other and never seem to get anything finished. Something else catches my eye and go there and forget about the first task.

We'll surive and thrive. I just know we wil.

Hugs