[jmartin21]

I have recently learned from my parents that I have Asperger's Syndrome. I'm 16, and always thought I was just socially awkward, but after reading through the articles on this website it seems to describe me. I was told that I adjusted to it over time, and that I was never given special treatment so that I would, and I think that if they told me I had it and I looked it up than I wouldn't have been able to adjust as well as I have.
When I heard my parents say I had it, I didn't think I would feel bad about it or anything, because I heard them talk about my cousin who acts a lot like I used to and they mentioned that I had it, so I asked to make sure I heard right, and at first I thought it was no big deal. However, it's been bugging me a bit ever since, and I don't even understand why it bugs me; it's nothing bad or anything, it's something I've had throughout my life, but it still bugs me even though I've learned to deal with it. It's not even really a change. Does anyone have any insight on this?

[-jimi-]

If my parents held facts from me, I would see that as betrayal. I know it sounds harsh.

I don't think it is weird at all it bugs you, if you had a stable image of yourself (normal but maybe a little quirky?) and then suddenly you HAVE this thing... Somehow you have to react to this. Either you will let it change your image of self some, or you will decide the diagnosis has no say in who you are. Either way, i bet it will be on your mind a while.

Sooner or later you will probably again feel it is not a big deal but you have some processing to do before that.

[jmartin21]

All that really bothers me about it is that I can't really get much better. I always thought I just was awkward and could get better and social situations, but it turns out I can't, and I'm probably about as good as I'll get. The change really bothers me, I can't stand changes, especially big changes like these.

[-jimi-]

Changes are hard but everyone can learn through life, having Asperger's or not! Don't let people say different.

Hi, My step-son was diagnosed with Aspergers when he was 7 or so. He is a happy, healthy teen now. He enjoys boy scouts and martial arts and soccer and other things also. He has friends and they accept him as different, but don't seem to judge him. He has them over and they laugh and do mischeif like teens do. He seems very healthy to me. At school, he encounter bullies sometimes. He is good at dealing with it now. In the past, he had difficulty dealing with bullies. He has learned to cope, with time and support. I see the symptoms od Aspergers in him, but I think about that very rarely. He is a healthy and happy 16 year old boy and I am proud to be his step-dad. I don't think you need to think about your diagnosis at all, unless you need to. Just enjoy your childhood, your only going to be a kid once!

[westybsa]

Originally Posted by jmartin21

I have recently learned from my parents that I have Asperger's Syndrome. I'm 16, and always thought I was just socially awkward, but after reading through the articles on this website it seems to describe me. I was told that I adjusted to it over time, and that I was never given special treatment so that I would, and I think that if they told me I had it and I looked it up than I wouldn't have been able to adjust as well as I have.
When I heard my parents say I had it, I didn't think I would feel bad about it or anything, because I heard them talk about my cousin who acts a lot like I used to and they mentioned that I had it, so I asked to make sure I heard right, and at first I thought it was no big deal. However, it's been bugging me a bit ever since, and I don't even understand why it bugs me; it's nothing bad or anything, it's something I've had throughout my life, but it still bugs me even though I've learned to deal with it. It's not even really a change. Does anyone have any insight on this?

Well my insight to this post has multiple points but first some background.

I like you have always been socially awkward, weird different, geeky, nerdy, or whatever you want to call, Ive basically been call everything you can be called related to the characteristics of having Aspergers Syndrome. I was only diagnosed with having it during July 2010. The only problem is that even before this point according to observation and neuropsych testing I definitely had Autistic characteristics.

First off my whole view is the earlier the person is informed about any of the autism spectrum disorders is the best. I think its really helpful to explain this starting in Kindergarten or even preschool if you were diagnosed then and then continue giving the person more and more information and understanding about what it is and some of the whys behind the reasons you act like you do. I personally sort of feel bad that your parents didn't let you know you had this before they did. Im not judging but it probably wouldve been much easier during your teen years to have a sense of why the teenage years are especially difficult in regards to people on the spectrum. Of course is it absolutely necessary to have a diagnosis, or understand the diagnosis you have, probably not but IMHO it definitely makes things make a lot more sense\.

Second, the basic reason why you felt good initially after your parents told you is probably because you had a "Ah-ha" moment and things about you and your life probably made a lot more sense. This feeling after you've dealt with my third point which is rejection or hating yourself for having it, will usually return to a more positive mood and outlook about how the world works and how you fit into that system.

My third and last point is that whenever someone is labelled whether its positive, negative, neutral, or indifferent eventually it will start to bother you that you now realize that you actually have a label that sets you apart from your neurotypical(people not on the spectrum) bothers people especially during their teenage years because ultimately no matter how different or nerdy you are as a teen there is this compulsion to fit in and look normal in your life. Yes your friends probably wouldnt mind if you told them about this but after that with the possibility of it spreading could potentially destroy your social standing or your appearance to other students could change drastically.

Well have any further questions please feel free to private message me.