[Switch]

Hi All,

So I myself don't have aspergers, but my best friend and lover does. I'm going to be blunt, me and him were having an affair, and his girlfriend found out. We'd been best friends for about 3 years before we started seeing each other, and this had gone on for just over a year. I have no intention of picking the affair up unless he's single and wants to.

It's taken me some time to come to this point, but I'm ready to try and work on our friendship again. I don't know how to get through to him. He lives 4 hours away, and him and his girlfriend worked things out again. I know he's really depressed right now, and I know he's beating himself up and I know he's lost. He's decided that he's going to move to Alberta (we're in Ontario) and try and work through his s**t, but he hasn't spoken to me in weeks except the bear minimum when I try to talk to him.

He's obsessed with D&D, and that's where we connected the most. We would get to the point where him and I would play over text message - not an easy feat for those who don't know! To my knowledge though, all of that has come to an abrupt stop with everyone he played with except his girlfriend. So essentially he's gone from over 6 campaigns to one maybe two!

I miss him so much, but I don't know how to get through to him. I've always struggled with his aspergers because I'm the exact opposite. I know I've been harsh, but I've been struggling with this too, and with the fact that he stopped talking to me and left me to crash on my own. I have trouble with emotions (as I am just discovering now) so it's been really hard to admit it, but it hurt, and now I feel lost.

I thought I would ask you guys for some tips?

[shoez]

Im not sure if I can give great advice....but it sounds like he stopped talking to you abruptly? Maybe, something randomly came up? maybe his partner found out something? (Sorry if I didnt follow your post correctly!)
Maybe be more direct with him about wanting to be friends? (sorry again if im giving stupid advice )
Sounds like something happened that made him change suddenly.

Hope this reply wasnt a complete fail

but im sending u lots of hugs full of support Switch

[Switch]

thanks Shoez. It wasn't a fail at all, and I feel the support.

Yeah, his girlfriend found out about me and him... which sucks even more because I really like his girlfriend! The whole thing happened days before we were going to cut it off too... :/ stupid us.

I'm trying to be direct with him, but I don't think he gets it. I'm trying to hold back my anger and frustration and hurt that he cut off so abruptly, which is probably making my "direct" a little less direct than I want. I'm trying to get through to him without hurting him, but I'm worried the only way to get through to him is by being blunt... which I know will hurt him.

((((( BIG HUG TO SHOEZ))))) Your support is felt, and I am very VERY grateful. And don't ever be sorry for giving me advice, stupid or otherwise. It's always accepted and appreciated.