When I was about 10 years old I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. Socializing and relationships are incredibly difficult for me, and I have no friends other than an Internet friend in the United States.

I would love to have a friend that lives nearer to me and that I can do things with and talk to, but I don’t know what to do about this.

Dating websites have done little for me. What happens is that I send out messages and never receive a response, and the few times I have received a response has never ended positively for me. The last date I was on she kept wanting me to buy her things, which I did, and I even bought her a pregnancy test, which she used, on our first date. I thought I was doing what any kind friend would do, but I was later told by my Internet friend that I was being taken advantage of. (She freaked when I explained to her what happened.) Other dates seem to be wonderful to me, but the women become unreachable afterwards .

As for clubs, which others like to suggest, the issue with these are that I live in a remote area without much for me to do with clubs and support groups. I haven’t found anything for me nor has my counselor found a place for me. Chess clubs are all tied to the universities and the Chess Association, which isn’t so much of a club as a competitive, professional tournament; the photography club members insulted me on their website and clearly is not a place I want to be; there are no arachnid clubs; and there are no mental health support groups with those my age or for me at all.

I don’t know what I am supposed to do?

[KeepGoing8]

Hey Mr.V, I may be the last person to give advice on making friends...but I can tell you how I found a partner and the few friends that I do have: I met my partner, now my husband, when we worked together at a college computer lab. We worked together and slowly became friends over 2 YEARS before we finally started dating. I was so wrapped up in my own head and my own misconceptions about him, that I didn't even consider him in a romantic way until he randomly gave me a wonderfully cheesy, lovey dovey mixCD declaring his love I actually freaked out and cried because it caught me so off guard and I didn't know how to handle it! But, I got over my own nonsense...and now it's 7 years later and I'm in love and married to the guy!
The friends I have now I also met in school. It took awhile, because I'm terribly shy at times and pretty unconventional for a girl (my dad has severe Asperger's and I have "mild to moderate" Asperger's characteristics) but I finally found a small circle of unconventional friends that don't judge me, and appreciate that I don't judge them. I find it especially difficult to maintain friendships with other girls, because they are so sensitive to my social missteps or some offensive action or statement I make without even knowing...I've found guys to be more forgiving and less grudge-holding...and my closest friend right now is a gay guy who has the laid-backness of a guy without the always-trying-to-get-in-my-pants problem of straight guy friends
Do you have any interest in school? Perhaps you could take, or even TA an entomology class? Do you have a job where you can share your interests with coworkers? Perhaps you should start your own Arachnofilia Club?
In my experience, for us "freaks" it takes time and effort to find the right freaky friends and partners...but they are SO worth the wait. Good luck love

Originally Posted by KeepGoing8

Hey Mr.V, I may be the last person to give advice on making friends...but I can tell you how I found a partner and the few friends that I do have: I met my partner, now my husband, when we worked together at a college computer lab. We worked together and slowly became friends over 2 YEARS before we finally started dating. I was so wrapped up in my own head and my own misconceptions about him, that I didn't even consider him in a romantic way until he randomly gave me a wonderfully cheesy, lovey dovey mixCD declaring his love I actually freaked out and cried because it caught me so off guard and I didn't know how to handle it! But, I got over my own nonsense...and now it's 7 years later and I'm in love and married to the guy!
The friends I have now I also met in school. It took awhile, because I'm terribly shy at times and pretty unconventional for a girl (my dad has severe Asperger's and I have "mild to moderate" Asperger's characteristics) but I finally found a small circle of unconventional friends that don't judge me, and appreciate that I don't judge them. I find it especially difficult to maintain friendships with other girls, because they are so sensitive to my social missteps or some offensive action or statement I make without even knowing...I've found guys to be more forgiving and less grudge-holding...and my closest friend right now is a gay guy who has the laid-backness of a guy without the always-trying-to-get-in-my-pants problem of straight guy friends
Do you have any interest in school? Perhaps you could take, or even TA an entomology class? Do you have a job where you can share your interests with coworkers? Perhaps you should start your own Arachnofilia Club?
In my experience, for us "freaks" it takes time and effort to find the right freaky friends and partners...but they are SO worth the wait. Good luck love

Interesting experiences you have had there. The mixtape idea is something that I would do . I’m wanting to make a bracelet out of beads and send it to my best friend in the United States.

I have an entirely different perspective on men. Although I mean no offense to the men here and I don’t intend to generalize, the truth is that I can be quite hostile towards other men and I don’t associate with them much. I have serious trust issues with men, and during the last year of high school a restraining order was filed between a male staff member and myself. Women I find, on average, to me more nurturing, accepting, and trustworthy. There are no men in my life right now. All women.

No I won’t be re-attending school for a few years, and I won’t ever re-attend a university, because of issues I have had there, so I won’t be studying entomology in the future. Currently I am in the process of appealing and in a financial/legal battle with a university - not places I want to be.

No I am not employed right now. I am waiting to be accepted into vocational rehab so that I can receive employment support.

Right now I am home alone almost everyday all day and I live in a rural area with little room for socializing. I drove to the city to be apart of a meetup (meetup.com) for those looking to make new friends and was totally shunned and unaccepted, which is kind of how it usually is.

I wouldn’t know how to start a club? Unsure of how many of those would join it too. Even in the big cities tarantulas aren’t well liked.

My best friend in the U.S. is freaky in her own ways. We’ve been chatting online for 5 years and I drove to Montana and hung out with her. I will be traveling to Seattle in the near future to see her again. I nicknamed her ‘Redneck’ and she is fine with that. She’s hilarious and a bit of a freak herself .

[carrie_ann]

"No I won’t be re-attending school for a few years, and I won’t ever re-attend a university, because of issues I have had there, so I won’t be studying entomology in the future."

could it not maybe be studied by mail or online?

[Galymia]

I'm horrible at making friends, but I've made acquaintances at bookstores and coffee shops. You might try those places.

I would totally join your arachnid club if I lived near you. I love insects and spiders myself.

Originally Posted by Galymia

I'm horrible at making friends, but I've made acquaintances at bookstores and coffee shops. You might try those places.

I would totally join your arachnid club if I lived near you. I love insects and spiders myself.

Eh, an issue I would have with that right now is that I live in the middle of nowhere . The nearest bookstore would be almost an hour’s drive from me one way .

Lol. Well I don’t think there would be a strong following of arachnid lovers .

I wish I could make a friend where I live, though, instead of always emailing those in other countries. I've tried dating websites but the women usually ignore me .