[Pandoren]

OK so...

I just wondered if this was a thing that other Aspies can relate to or whether I'm being a bit sociopathic here...

I don't have a close relationship with extended family members... I only see them a couple of times a year at most (for special calendar events, for example), but it always bothered me that they seemed to care about me and sometimes said so with concern when I didn't give a monkey's about them, so to speak. They are like familiar strangers. I know who they are, but they are meaningless.

My parents... I don't have a close emotional bond with my parents, who I still live with. I don't miss either of them when they aren't there. When they are, I spend most of the time in my bedroom.

My brother... We did get along as children for the most part, but we never had a close sibling relationship. Our personalities were described as "as similar as chalk and cheese" (for those who don't recognise the expression, it basically means not similar at all...) and still are. When he began moving out (he had a bit of a yoyo thing going on for a while, depending on whether or not he was still together with whatever girlfriend he had at the time) I sometimes looked forward to his coming home so perhaps I could spend the evening watching him playing video games, but after he moved out permanently I haven't missed him at all. In fact, I often forget I've even got a brother. He's been written out of my mental timeline now and it feels like I'm an only child. I'll also go so far as to say that I feel angry when he turns up here and I haven't spoken to him in a year and a half now.

As a bizarre additional thing, I'm actually quite invested in researching my Family History... I guess it turns out I'm only interested in relatives if they are dead...

How do you feel about your family members?

[TinyLittleIzzy]

Originally Posted by Pandoren

OK so...

I just wondered if this was a thing that other Aspies can relate to or whether I'm being a bit sociopathic here...

I don't have a close relationship with extended family members... I only see them a couple of times a year at most (for special calendar events, for example), but it always bothered me that they seemed to care about me and sometimes said so with concern when I didn't give a monkey's about them, so to speak. They are like familiar strangers. I know who they are, but they are meaningless.

I'm like this. I have a cousin who tries to talk to me, but when she calls, I silence the phone (I hate my phone). I have several uncles and aunts as well, but the last time I spoke to any of them was about four years ago.

Originally Posted by Pandoren

My parents... I don't have a close emotional bond with my parents, who I still live with. I don't miss either of them when they aren't there. When they are, I spend most of the time in my bedroom.

Growing up, I was separate from my parents. My father, who I believe has Asperger's, stayed locked up in his den working all the time, he was an engineer type. My mother had her arts and crafts and was also terminally ill from before the day I was born.

When she was in the hospital, which happened as much as 3-4 times a year, I'd just sit quietly and read. I didn't socialize with my parents, unless it was something Sci-fi, but my mother was a nerd as well.

After my mother passed away, when I was 15, I would have seen my father, maybe once a week, even when he living in the same house. I didn't actually see him again until he started dated his current wife. I was extremely isolated and I was groovy with it.

As much as I do love them, if I something happened, I wouldn't be upset. I know I love them; mother, father, father's wife.

Originally Posted by Pandoren

My brother... We did get along as children for the most part, but we never had a close sibling relationship. Our personalities were described as "as similar as chalk and cheese" (for those who don't recognise the expression, it basically means not similar at all...) and still are. When he began moving out (he had a bit of a yoyo thing going on for a while, depending on whether or not he was still together with whatever girlfriend he had at the time) I sometimes looked forward to his coming home so perhaps I could spend the evening watching him playing video games, but after he moved out permanently I haven't missed him at all. In fact, I often forget I've even got a brother. He's been written out of my mental timeline now and it feels like I'm an only child. I'll also go so far as to say that I feel angry when he turns up here and I haven't spoken to him in a year and a half now.

I have two brothers, one is sweet; the other actually abused me when I was little, both adopted. I haven't spoke to either in so many years, one of them, it has been over ten years since I even spoke on the phone with him.

My sweet brother, I don't hear from, but he and his wife are on my Facebook, that I don't really use because I'm not close to any friends I do have. His wife will send me a message about once a year.

Originally Posted by Pandoren

As a bizarre additional thing, I'm actually quite invested in researching my Family History... I guess it turns out I'm only interested in relatives if they are dead...

How do you feel about your family members?

I had and still have parts of my family tree going back to the 1500's. A lot of raw data was done for me, but I did a lot of data entry and researching miscellaneous information.

Now, I do have a partner, she has Asperger's too. I love her, a lot. If she wasn't around or if she was dead, that would probably be devastating to me. But, and it's a real big but too, she has an extremely different relationship with me than anyone ever has. I wonder if it's because her being in the bed keeps it warm when the heater acts up...

Seeing your post, makes me feel a lot better. I sometimes worry about the family thing. I even thought that it made me some sort of sociopath, too. I don't like feeling the way I do, but I do feel very much this way.

[Cellerest]

I'm very close to my parents - they are my support network.

My brother and I were never close and barely speak. He doesn't seem to like me much and I don't really know what to talk to him about or have any of the same interests. Talking to him is exhausting.

My dad and I have a strained relationship but still close.

My relations are all kept at arms length and don't seem that fussed. I think maybe I scare them because they don't understand.