[rosska]

Hey all, I'm 27 and am currently waiting on a referral to an Aspergers clinic because my PDoc is pretty confident it's the cause of a lot of my "quirks". I must say, the more I read up about it, I can see where she's coming from.

I'm just curious though, do any of you have issues with people visiting your home? I live with my mother and it's just us in the house 90% of the year, but on occasion family or friends come to visit, either for a few hours, or a couple of days depending on who it is. Tomorrow, my brother is coming down and I only found out he's coming ten minutes ago...

This makes me feel anxious and some other things I can't even begin to describe.

Don't get me wrong, it's always nice to see my brother, he's family after all. But I don't understand why people feel it's ok to announce their visit less than 24 hours before it's happening. Personally, I don't really like anybody visiting my house, for a few hours or a few days, it's an inconvenience. I have to adjust my plans and my routines that I follow religiously every day and it leaves me feeling, empty, I guess you could say and frustrated. It also means I'm put in a position where I'm forced to interact with someone when I'm not necessarily feeling inclined to do so.

Heck when it's just myself and my mother in the house, most days we only speak at dinner time and before bed. The rest of the time I retreat to my bedroom.

Anyway, just curious to see if any of you feel this way and if you do, have you found any coping mechanisms to help you through it?

[The_little_didgee]

I don't like people coming over without at least 24 hours notice.

I rarely ever have people over, because they interfere with my daily life. My apartment is also my private space and I want to keep it that way.

What have I done? Planning.

I know, I am rigid, but my anxiety is too overwhelming to accommodate others (even family) and their spontaneity. The only way around this is to plan everything, since it helps ease my nerves.

[Pandoren]

I don't like house guests, with or without notice. I hate it when my brother comes round... he doesn't live here any more and it makes me angry when he comes over. I don't really feel anxious about them coming... I guess more resentful. I usually stay in my bedroom until they leave.

[-jimi-]

Only my friend can come over on a short notice. Everyone else knows they better not try... Two weeks notice is acceptable by me.

[rosska]

Thanks for the responses.

I'm glad to see it's not just me who is like this then. Like I said, it is very rare for us to have guests at the house, because my mother runs interference as much as she can since she knows it's going to make me uncomfortable.

Though sometimes, we still do, such as my brother this weekend. Pandoren, I can agree with the feeling of resentment. I then end up feeling like I'm being a bad person for feeling that way since it's his family home too, but it's just the fact that it throws all of my planning and routines out of the window and I really do not cope well with disruptions to my plans.

Jimi, yeah two weeks is what I would consider acceptable notice. I do have a slight problem though where people will tell me their plans to visit in a few weeks time but I'm not really paying attention to what they're saying or really caring so I don't remember. Then I get really pissed when they remind me a few days before hand.