[JoyDivision7680]

How many of you have been (or still are) labeled as 'shy' by others? I thought I was shy too, and others kept telling me I'm shy in a weird way because I wasn't shy like a NT person would be - it's complicated to explain at the moment.
Also, does anyone have a funny story related to this 'shyness'? I got one that's been bothering me for years: when I was younger, under 7 years old if I recall, I stayed for a few days at my aunt's house (I forgot why) and, whenever I needed to go to the toilet or wanted a glass of water, I would think and re-think if it's a good idea to ask my aunt for it, and I eventually asked because it was very difficult to resist anymore

[manwithnofriends]

"shy"? What do they take you for? No, I'm not telling you to man up, rather I'm telling those who label you as "shy" to do so, because clearly they don't like you the way you are and if you were to change to satisfy them, I doubt that you'll feel any happier.

[JoyDivision7680]

Well, the thing is Asperger's isn't very known among people, so it's understandable in a way. Hell, most of them don't know what is depression!
There was a time when I labeled myself 'shy' until some questions related to this 'odd' type of shyness started to come to mind.
I definitely agree one can never be happy trying to please others! Changes like that will always wind up in failure and embarassment.
Also, people ought to get their facts right before they decide to 'diagnose' anyone. There are tons of people mislabeled as 'shy' while they're actually afraid not to make a mistake and those are two different things for me.

[rosska]

I'm labelled as shy by everybody. I even describe myself as shy, because it's easier than trying to explain why I'm so quiet most of the time. Really though, like you and most AS people, I am quiet because I'm too busy thinking inside my head about what I want to say and whether it's an appropriate time or thing to say.

[JoyDivision7680]

At least you manage not to say inappropiate things? Though I think and plan beforehand, I still say things I'll later regret.

[rosska]

Oh gosh no, when I do speak I frequently say things I end up regretting. My own mum told me I can be offensive and rude, she said it not to insult me though, but to try and help me understand how some of the things I say can be taken.

If I drink, even a few glasses of wine, I am very chatty and for months after I will regret 95% of what I've said because even the slightest amount of alcohol totally disables my 'social filters'. That's why I don't like drinking, though at the same time alcohol is about my only assured way of making it through a forced social gathering haha.

[JoyDivision7680]

Yeah, my mother often tells me I'm shouting at her, even when I'm not angry. With others I may talk personal things, like telling them I have some issues, or I may get too sincere and thus hurt or annoy them.
I have no problem with drinking. What kills me is hypomania, because that's when I get talkative and childish.

[RTerroni]

I have Asperger's and I am VERY shy

[rosska]

Originally Posted by MotherMan

Yeah, my mother often tells me I'm shouting at her, even when I'm not angry.

Oh my God, yes. My entire life people have been telling me to "clam down" when I've been just having a conversation with them. I can be totally calm and just trying to explain something and then I get told to "calm down" because apparently I'm shouting. Ironically, being told to calm down when I am calm, makes me angry.

[JoyDivision7680]

Same here! Also, I'm almost 100% sure I don't raise my voice when angry. I wish I would though, but I can't...

@RTerroni Would you feel better if you shared?

[medicalfox]

I'm a very out going person, but I'm generally reserved which some people mistake for as being shy. I like to keep to myself and not really talk to anyone if I don't have to because I don't realize when I'm talking too loud or too fast along with other awkward traits. I have another condition that often mixes up my speech so if I wanted to ask someone how was there day I might say "day your how was" or I can not think of a certain words or worse I lose complete train of thought and forget that I was even talking. Sometimes I'm very social, witty, and funny, but other times it's best to be reserved and left alone.

[JoyDivision7680]

I feel you! Usually, if I talk too much, something really stupid or embarassing gets out of my mouth. That's why I hate hypomania: it makes me talkative. I used to tell funny things too, but since then I've sort of run out of jokes.

[purplegiraffe1]

Wow! So glad im not the only one with the "shy' thing. and also with my crescendos to really loud. I have a friend that will tell me when im being too loud when talking to him. I tend to get louder when im "into" what im saying. and at that point, i am completely oblivious to my surroundings including the person im talking to.

[JoyDivision7680]

Yeah, getting 'into' while talking fast-paced! It would be perfect to have my mouth full of foam as well...

[Betty1Boop]

I often wonder if the people who accuse me of "shouting" simply don't like my blunt, indisputable honesty--so they tell me I'm loud to shut me up. I typically have a very soft voice.

[JoyDivision7680]

Until now, my mother was the only person who accused me of shouting. I realise it happens whenever my speech goes fast-paced.