[kala83]

I am starting to notice how very difficult it seems for me to make friendships. With my peers, I can stolen up conversations with people easily...but when comes to making lasting friendships and maintaining them. I really seem to suck at it, and it really truly hurts. I try to be myself around others I try to be nice and polite and I still come off as odd and always.

Maybe I am too analitical and and brainy to make friends. I well versed in a lot of things but I guess interacting sociologically Lol is not one of them

[Lexi232]

thats really tough-its something i havent found an answer for yet.
the only thing that ive found to work some, is my cats(in this way and many other ways), but ive gotten to where when someone asks "dont you have a friend or two?" i say no, and then reference to my cats. i often say "i dont ever have any HUMANs come over or spend the night. and my lease doesnt specify that my "overnight visitors" have to be a human." and often theyve come to help when ive been "down in the dumps". also they dont ask me why i do certain things, and they dont judge me for the issues i have. and it makes them a perfect friend for me. i usually have to specify that my "friends" are my "cats". or else the convo can get kind of confusing because they are thinking of someone that i could goto for help and such, while my cats are dependant on me. and dont have anyway for me to borrow money from. lol

!!!!!!

what would a friend look like to you?
maybe that can be a starting ground for finding a type of friend that you need and want and would feel comfortable just being who you are, around them.?

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[kala83]

Most people I get along with or have before in the past are people who have similar issues or disabilities as mine. Lol but people that are trying to heal can sometimes be more broken then I myself am and can end up hurting me easily. I have made friends with the wrong types of people before and gotten further abused and taken advantage of so it does not help motivate me to make new friends. Most people like and speak to most are my partners (I am polyamorus ) and people online like from here. I guess It's my way of having a safety net so to speak

It's hard for me to be social for very long. There is only one person that I am 100% comfortable with. I am more comfortable with her than even my family.

It took me awhile to find that person. There are many people that I end up avoiding because it just becomes awkward.

So I know what you mean.

[snickie]

This is something I was struggling with a few days ago. I only have a handful of human friends that I'm comfortable enough with to go up to them whenever I need/want to without invitation and enjoy being around. And while I can rant all I want to the people I don't consider to be more than acquaintances about anything, I can't go up to them later unless it's for a very specific reason like we were assigned to work together on a paper or something and we planned and confirmed this get-together in advance. It's a struggle for me because my good friends are almost exclusively commuters (those that attend this college, forget the ones back home) and I live on campus.

Specifically, I'm usually okay with eating dinner by myself but sometimes I feel the need to socialize like every other human and I can't because my apparent fear of being rejected holds me back. In particular, when I was being smothered in thoughts about various things, having someone I sort of know to talk to (and they just listen and not care) would have been supremely helpful but I can't just go up to people like that. It took a lot of time and meditation to lower the tide back to a reasonable level. I end up texting my best friend about it anyway.

But I'm okay.

I'm always okay.

[tipper1492]

Me too, no real friends I see. Had a best friends, but he died of a heart attack maybe six years ago. For some reason my 20+ yr old daughter never made that many friends, but she seems to be doing well and is engaged.