[HelloWorld18]

Alright, I'm not a parent. And I'm not officially diagnosed with autism, but i, my teacher, and even my mom believe that I'm autistic (she was an old teacher, i just graduated HS class of 2014). and I'm no where near having a child.

But WHEN i do have kids, i don't excctly know what the boundaries are. Like, I know this sounds weird, but i just don't.

Like as a father, not a mother.

Like, even now, I get so worried that a kid will accuse me of being a pedophile or a parent will think I'm a pedophile. I know this is really weird to say.

But when I was younger, my cousins accused me of touching them. I was 8, my cousin was 7, and her brother was 6. After asking them questions, they eventually said that i didn't touch them. I asked my dad, so thats the only reason why i know. what happened was, was that i had fallen and i accidentally hit my cousin in that general area and then he over reacted and said i touched him. my aunt is very cautious and paranoid of anything and everything, so she told her kids if they ever get touched tell her. Well, i hit that area, only because I had fallen. thats it.

well, after years of emotional distress and blurriness i found out that i didn't actually do that (i didn't think i would ever do that, and I find that type of stuff sickening), i had thought the whole time "did i actually do that!?" but after asking my dad what happened he said "you fell and as you fell you accidentally touched that area, and because aunt ____ always over exaggerates things, your cousin thought you did it on purpose". Like, they elaborated the story and said I closed the door. But i didn't. after his parents had a serious talk with him, he said i had fallen on accident.

but none the less, i strongly believed that has had a strong effect on me.

So like, is this normal? Is this common for autism? Like, i don't know boundaries. I don't know what is or isn't appropriate. like for all i know, as a father, giving your child a kiss could be seen as weird. I really have no sense of boundaries.

Even today I'm like that, i always go overboard with people, or I never have a sense of what to say thats appropriate. Like, I'll say inside jokes with my manager, but its supposed to just be between her, me, and a few other co workers. But I've talked about it in front of strangers, and she's like "its not the time", but this seems to happen a lot. not just with her, but with so many people. i don't have a sense of boundaries in that respect.

FYI. I was also 'interrogated' by my step mom about myself being molested. I say interrogated because it was hours (yes, hours, I believe around 3-4 hours) of constant questioning. Asking the same question over and over again, restating the question to mean the same thing but using different words. I was around the age of 8-9 when this happened. After hours of her questioning me, I gave her an answer that i thought would stop the questioning. It did indeed stop. But i had then accused my step father of molesting me. I remember that whole night i was terrified. I hid under our little table until my dad came home (she did all this questioning while he was at work. YES, all of her little 'interrogations' occurred WITHOUT the presence of MY DAD). after telling my dad the truth, they fixed what they we're planning to do. i got into trouble.

does that make any difference?

[sideblinded]

You bring up some very thoughtful questions. It is good that you have these questions. It means that you want to be a responsible parent. These questions pertaining to boundaries are really best brought to the attention of a therapist who can get your history and go into much more detail with you. I am sorry that I cannot be of more help. Maybe others have a few pointers for you but I think a T would be your best resource.