[APlusInsanity]

If I have some sort of autism spectrum, a mild form of OCD, or maybe just outright neurosis. The older I get the harder it is for me to relate with people and the less I understand them.

My co-worker tells me I'm OCD because I have to have things in certain color baskets and done a certain way. I don't fit anything I've read because I don't think the world is going to end and I don't do anything repetitively. However, I have a lot of 'rituals' that I do that if not done correctly, it ruins a great portion of my day.

I have a hard time with variables. Perhaps why I did poorly in algebra. I don't like them and never have. Nothing freaks me out more than chaos or what I perceive to be so. This isn't boding well in my family life and with my step-kids, who are, well, kids. My spouse gets annoyed at me (a lot) because my knee-jerk response to anything of mine being changed is not happy. I don't like anyone using my towel. I like to use a certain coffee cup. If something that I consider mine is used/eaten/broken it freaks me out. The world IS ending. Granted, I consider my outward reaction to be mild but apparently the fact that these things bother me to the extent they do I'm told is not normal.

There are a thousand other things and a lot of which I have talked over with my friend who has had diagnosed Asperger's since she was a child. We share a lot of the same tendencies, except she's brilliant and I'm not. I guess I need to do something but I'm not sure what. I live constantly stressed out and annoyed and I don't know how to fix me.

[Miktis25]

It would be best to talk to a psychologist I think; I'm quite like that with the "rituals" and quirks, though Autism is much much more than the OCD that comes along with it. The social world and understanding abstract thinking, for example, are part of major difficulties for many people on the spectrum. I hope you get answers soon, good luck!

[Anonymous37919]

I am the same. I don't like disorganised clutter and changes can bother me, or I like to be giving notice. It varies from person to person, but OCD can be severe or manageable. I've heard of people having germ phobias and obsessively cleaning their hands when they may not be dirty. But that must be hard on these sufferers.

[muffinhead]

As someone else said, get diagnosed professionally. You can list all the symptoms you want, but we can only guess what's up with you. Having a face to face conversation with a psychologist, that discusses your mental history, is the best way to find out. Best of luck to you in your search for putting a name to your struggles.

[APlusInsanity]

Thanks to everyone. I didn't realize I had any responses until now. I will have to make an appointment with the dreaded psychologist. I've had a phobia of them my entire life.

[Anonymous37919]

Good luck bud.

[StarGazingFish]

hi aplusinsanity,
do you have anyone in your life that you can ask about how you were when you were little,such as parents or siblings?
sometimes they are the key to finding out about autism but not always as some family can be biased in their thinking or may have a very hazy memory,some pyschologists insist on having family involved and wont diagnose anything without them,your best bet is seeing a pyschologist who is experienced with adults with autism.

your description of yourself sounds OCD more than autism-youve focused on rituals and not mentioned other issues like social issues,communication issues,fine/gross motor skill issues etc.
you will need to tell the pyschologist you see about all aspects of your life if you have had issues with them,not just rituals and routines,it will help if you start writing down a history of yourself now for the doctor.

regardless of the label,i hope you get an answer to your issues soon,it helps having a name to it,i only got diagnosed with a similar lifelong label [reactive attachment disorder] in my twenties and it helped me understand why i was so detached from humans,more than what my classical autism presents with.