[IrinaMaria]

My Aspie boyfriend broke up with me. I am completely devastated. He told me that it was exhausting for him to be in a relationship, that he is tired of trying to live a "normal life". He said something about feeling stuck in a hole and that tiptoeing to get out is the thing that affects him most. I kept trying to be patient, supportive and understanding, I gave him space, didn't put pressure, but every little thing started bothering him. The first 6 months were amazing, he was so affectionate and caring and loving, yet all of a sudden it all began to fall apart. Since October I have been living in constant emotional stress, fearful of not doing something to upset him. I still do not fully understand how could he change his mind like that. I am thinking he was struggling to adapt and then in his mind did not believe he could offer me much for not being "normal" enough. I also believe it might have to do with the changes he's been experiencing (job, place to live) and the emotional pressure may have been too much. I tried my best to be reassuring and making him feel safe, but apparently I failed. I am a mess, I think I have a depression myself and don't know what to do. I miss him terribly and I feel guilty for all my moments of sounding needy that made things worse. He has some unresolved issues with himself, apart from the syndrome, also some childhood trauma. I've never tried to "fix" him, I know he is wired differently. All I wanted is to find a better strategy to communicate our needs. But again, apparently I was the only one wanting it. I would like to know what I can do to try to work things out. Giving him space I guess. And then?

I'm sorry for what happened. I know you miss him, but you said you broke up. Has he stated to take a temporary break and that he would try to make things work out? I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but if he is not willing to cooperate to make things work out, it's not going to work

[CobolCapsule]

People on the spectrum are very difficult to deal with in relationships, thats why they have such a high divorce rate of 80%. Give him some time alone, and maybe he will have second thoughts about the breakup. Be prepared for anything though. Good luck to you, and i hope he changes his mind.