[SarahSweden]

I got my PDD NOS diagnosis a couple of years ago and now I really regret doing the neuropsychiatric assessment. In Sweden unemployment agencies are allowed to look into medical journals if you apply for jobs and to get welfare and that brings me a lot of problems.

They want me to participate in activites for mentally disabled people and I can´t refuse as I live on welfare. I can´t go out just look for a job as I´m on sick leave because of depression and anxiety but when they see this PDD NOS diagnosis I don´t get the chance to get help for the anxiety and depression but for the PDD NOS. That is activities for the mentally disabled.

I can´t hide or "remove" the diagnosis as here you have to do a full assessment again and you have to wait for many months and sometimes years to get such an assessment.

As I still need help, psychotherapy, I can´t just "go out there on my own looking for jobs" and I can´t just leave the mental health care either. To be put in activities for the mentally disabled will just decrease my chances to a proper job and I´ll just end up even more sad and depressed. I have worked within the ordinary job market and I have university degrees.

Also - I don´t know, and this isn´t denial, what difficulties they mean I have as in the diagnosis papers nothing more than "friendships don´t last" is specified as a difficulty. There are no information about what support I would need or how a workplace need to be adapted to my needs or such.

And I don´t know that either. But the hard thing is that it doesn´t help what I think, a doctors word is more worth than mine. To me it´s just a big worry and it´s hard to live with, knowing about a diagnosis but not what reasons they actually had to give me such a diagnosis. It won´t help asking as they only refer to test materials and I think the assessment was badly handled.

What to do about such a situation?

[Anonymous37919]

Sarah, I understand how you feel. The doctors I seen 10 years ago didn't diagnose me with classic autism, or whatever they label it as. They had me going back for ages before a decision could be made. Eventually, they just said I had PDD-NOS. Not long after, I started getting support; I had a key worker starting in 2008 (this role changed from worker to worker) and I claimed DLA before it was PIP, and I also claim ESA. The support workers I had weren't all bad, but I guess it comes down to mutual interests. Do you receive support?

Unfortunately, I have to question whether some of these caregivers have a clue about the difficulties people with autism may face. One guy abused me. Granted, you cannot blame a whole agency if one person acts out of line, but this guy was a fruitcake. He emailed me abusive messages using a pseudonym. My key worker knew I was infatuated with a girl I had not seen in years and told him when he arrived at the agency. Both my ex and the company screwed me over, hard. Well, he admitted it was him who sent me the emails.

In the case of my ex, she was manipulative and greedy. She was somebody I had feelings for, but people like her just pick up on that. Oh, she has a disability too, but that hardly makes her stupid.

The company gave me a flat, in supported housing. Sadly, I got crushes on women and it went disastrously chaotic. Then I was in jail because I scared them and I was frustrated about losing their support. The flat went bye-bye too. When I gave up the support, I went back to prison within months. I've been in a rut ever since.

The thing is, these workers were scum buckets. They tried to deceive me too. We had to do reports about my shifts. They knew I didn't like how they worded the reports, but even if I saw a report about me, they would just author one separately anyway. To be honest, they acted like stool pigeons. I'm not sure if it's like this where you are. Can you not ask to speak to some doctor or agency about autism?

[-jimi-]

I feel like you feel there is a goal you should accomplish and that is to get good treatment, get healthy and normal and go on to get a job. Psychiatry can help people feel better but they can't fix everything. They can't make everyone normal, actually if they could I would be nervous.

Therapy cannot magically remove your issues and bring forward the person you seem to think you are deep down. It really doesn't work like that. I have no idea if you are on the spectrum but from I can see you have something that blocks you from taking in information from other people and that you obsess quite a bit, like if you say the same things several times, one day you will get an answer that will fix things.

I can somehow see how psychiatry thinks this is some form of autism. With it, people might become rigid, unable to be flexible and sometimes unable to take in and process new information.

It does sound like you think getting support from people treating you as autistic will somehow ruin your chances. It's not true. You don't have to tell a new employer anything about your background. They might want to know why you have been on sick leave, and believe me, if you say depression and anxiety, it will sound as bad as autism to their ears. Unfortunately they don't at all like people with mental illness or disability. I suggest you have a cover story for when you finally go look for work. Something that explains away the gap in your work history.

Meanwhile you could give the autism related program a chance. It might help you even if it happens that you're not autistic, because it might teach you skills that you don't have. You do not get diagnosed with autism just because friendships don't last. I'm sure there have to be other things. I'm not trying to hurt you here, but perhaps you come across as autistic?

But like I said, I have no idea what your problem is, part from that you are stuck in a rut, being stubborn and do the same things over and over. I have seen this behavior in both non-autistic people and autistic people. To know yourself, sometimes you have to understand that maybe you don't yet know everything about your own behavior. And being willing to take new information onboard.

I've also worked and I also went to university. That does not prove I'm asperger's free. Being on the spectrum doesn't mean one is stupid, hopeless and totally unable to have a good life. Your life is not ruined just because you have a diagnosis.

How come your friendships don't last? Are you able to make friends and then you or them want out of the friendship?

[shortandcute]

[-jimi-]

Don't know why I even expected an answer...

[Anonymous37919]

If you do decide to get a diagnosis and then get help from support people, be careful of whom you trust. It's not possible to know who is trustworthy, as I'm sure they'll act sweet to maybe deceive you into thinking they're on your side. The reason I am planning my own support is because my social worker dictates too much, but if I pay for it myself, it can cost a lot, and so I cannot do it all the time. I'm also having to be careful of them getting used as snitches. Social workers can really make your life a misery.