[cryingontheinside]

My daughter who is 17 has ASD. She's been brought up mostly by her father . with my mental health he was considered the better parent at the time .
He is abandoning her , doesn't want her any more . i am going to be putting myself forward to being assessed for her to live with me .
The thing is her ASD is not severe , but he has treated her as if it is so he can get maximum money for her ( for himself actually ) . she can communicate really well and i think she is capable of achieving a lot in life but she believes she can't . he has taken her confidence away . how to i teach her new skills and build her confidence and aim for her to be confident to go out on her own or stay home alone for at least short periods of time ? Any tips or advice will be helpful . either here or inbox me . thx so much

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry about your daughter, cryingontheinside How long has she been with her father? If she's been with him her whole life it will probably take a while before she can build some self-confidence. Can you ask her to see a therapist? Maybe that could help. Can you afford it? As far as what you can do, I think you only need to be supportive and encouraging of her. Let her try and discover new things, and most importantly remember her that you love her. I'm sure you'll be a wonderful mother though, so I wouldn't worry too much. Sending many hugs to you and your daughter

[cryingontheinside]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm so sorry about your daughter, cryingontheinside How long has she been with her father? If she's been with him her whole life it will probably take a while before she can build some self-confidence. Can you ask her to see a therapist? Maybe that could help. Can you afford it? As far as what you can do, I think you only need to be supportive and encouraging of her. Let her try and discover new things, and most importantly remember her that you love her. I'm sure you'll be a wonderful mother though, so I wouldn't worry too much. Sending many hugs to you and your daughter

Thank you . your posts are always so kind and thoughtful .
He got custody when she was about 9 . he did the same kind of controlling behavior with me when i was with him . he convinced me i couldn't do things and he took over . very controlling . i could cook all kinds of food but one day when i was making soup out of a tin , he snatched the saucepan away from me and said " let me do that . you don't know how to do it " something that ive known how to do since i was a kid . he wouldnt let me top up my phone or put the pram up . he convinced me i couldn't do things so that i would think i need him and wouldn't leave him . with my daughter he's done it for different reasons , well basically to get more money from disability .
You're advice is very good . i will do my best .

[MickeyCheeky]

Let us know how it goes! Sending many hugs to you

[eskielover]

Therapy & your loving support, guidance & encouragement.

[TheNightWhistle]

Your daughter's father sounds like a real jackass. I'm sorry that happened to you.

As far as your daughter goes, just show her as much love and encouragement as you can. Teach her the necessary skills she needs to stay home by herself like cooking, laundry, cleaning, and stuff like that. She'll feel proud of herself for accomplishing something, especially if you give her tons of encouragement. If you're gonna leave her by herself, make sure she knows exactly how long you're gonna be gone, and maybe give her something to do while you're away. Uncertainty is never good with people with ASD.