Wondering If I Might be on the Asperger's Spectrum as a Woman

For an autism diagnosis you need to have had symptoms before the age of three. Did you participate in pretend play, did you stim, or did you have other quirks your parents might remember?

That's not true.

I'm not saying one can only get diagnosed with autism until the age of 3. Symptoms are often overlooked and some parents just can't accept something may be wrong with their precious bundles. But for it to be autism, there would have been symptoms by the age of 3, even if no one noticed.

For an autism diagnosis it's therefore very helpful to have some early evidence, such as a parent remembering quirks, absence of pretend play, or maybe even film and photographic evidence.

When do children usually show symptoms of autism? | NICHD - Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development

"Many children show symptoms of autism by 12 months to 18 months of age or earlier."

PsychoPill is right. You are born with autism; it isn't something you develop. Symptoms are evident in early childhood, including in infancy. It's also a complex disorder (if you want to call it a "disorder")--simply having social issues doesn't make you autistic. This is a common misunderstanding. If you really want to find out if you're autistic or not, see a behavior analyst who specializes in autism diagnoses. It's a lengthy process; it takes weeks. It's easy to self-diagnose via books and online questionnaires, etc., but you need a professional to actually make a correct diagnosis.

My parents won't remember any quirks @PsychoPhil. One parent is deceased now, and the other is aging and losing memory. And what they did know, they didn't seem to associate with anything but me being an "odd" child. But I remember my quirks. I did both. I participated in pretend play, and I did stim too. I had imaginary friends before that age. They were all based on Disney characters. Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Pluto, and the like, I believe because that was pretty much the only exposure I had had to cartoon-ish-type characters at the time. I have a photo where I was told I went to Disney World in Orlando FL, but I have no memory of the experience at all. I was under two years old. I was sitting on a fake dolphin, something similar to those things you used to put a quarter in, and it would rock back and forth for a minute, and my parents were in the picture. I remember they weren't real-life sized, my imaginary friends. They were small, 6-10 inches in height or so, because I would always be looking down at the floor to interact with them and speak with them. And I had a baby blanket that was given to me by a grandparent who worked in a blanket factory. It was a receiving blanket from when I was born, and it was always with me in my crib, bed, whatever it evolved into. It had a silky binding on it, and I developed a picking habit, which I still have, to this day. About 7 years ago, my partner convinced me to put the blanket away and find something else to pick, because it was disintegrating into nothing. ( I used to tell my family. It will be written into my will, that I am to be buried with my blanket. That's how strongly I felt for it.) So, I washed it, bagged it, and tucked it away for safe-keeping so it would always be there. I won't tell you the other fabric I found for its replacement. It's embarrassing. But I still pick, and if I can't find the source when I go to bed, I am upset, and I have to find it before I can sleep, even now, at 52 years old. Anyone that has ever known about my blanket, mostly immediate family and any very close friends I might have had (of course, any intimate partners would have to be let into the loop, because I won't sleep without it), would tease me mercilessly for still having it at my age. My grandmother, the person that gave it to me, begged me to put it aside. She didn't think I should have something like that as an adult. She died around 1992. My father, who is still alive at 76 years, has forgotten about the blanket, because I don't carry it with me anymore, and he is not aware of the fabric I use now to replace it. It's concealable. My mate, my partner in life for the last 9 years if my life now, my person...is very aware of my stim obsession with "picking". I also try to avoid picking at my skin, but that is a compulsion as well. I have picked at my face, my collar bone area, my shoulders and back. If I pick on my skin, it is very apparent outwardly because it can be seen. I went through a period where I couldn't help picking at my face, and it was obvious. I had scabs and the like. I had to find an alternate area, or an alternate material to pick.

I have never known anyone else with a blanket they picked at like me!!!! My husband calls it a rag, I just can't bear to part with it. And also can't sleep without it.