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Member
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: California, USA
Posts: 129
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#1
I have usually been made fun of and called "retard" throughout my childhood as well as adult life, but when I look at how I act in public, I do act quite awkward. I tend to act so painfully awkward that people stare at me, and even make comments about me to others or even to me myself. I have OCD, several types of anxiety, hypochondria and Asperger's.
Some examples of what I mean by "socially retarded": -Often when offered a handshake, my hands simply stay at my sides and I give the person a blank look, i.e. blank facial expression. Often this angers or irritates people, and they make comments about me for it. -Although I am not mutistic (at least not chronically), if someone asks me a simple question like, "What do you do for fun to relax?", I would look at them with a blank facial expression and just say nothing, or stutter with gibberish sounds like "eh", "uh", "oy", etc. Then after around five seconds I would answer, but I would answer stuff like, "Watching war movies like Platoon (1986) or Casualties of War (1989)." Then they would look at me as if they had a "wtf?" facial expression. -I often am a bit worried about coming into contact with other people's germs. Sometimes I put the lower part of my face inside the upper part of my shirt when in a group of people. If I have to drink beer from the bottle of wine from the glass, often I tilt it so that the liquid enters my mouth, without my mouth actually touching the bottle or the glass. I often get weird looks for this. -For some reason sometimes my balance is off, plus I am very clumsy; I accidentally tilt my torso backwards or forwards almost to the point of falling down. -I absolutely need to eat finger foods with a fork or spoon. Thus, you often see me eating popcorn, chips, crisps, chicken wings, etc. with a fork or spoon. -Since I have no natural instinct or notion of flirting, either I say nothing or say something idiotic. For example, either I tell a woman nor give hints that I like her, or I just blurt out straight, "I like you". -I usually have had no body language or hand motions whilst talking. Lately I tried talking with my hands. However, my hand motions are often disjointed, causing me to accidentally knock glasses of wine and beer down without noticing. When I was a child and teenager, on and off I went to psychiatrists to try to work on socialising and my anxiety. Nothing really worked, but I do have a history of having problems with social stuff. Do these traits make me essentially "socially retarded"? |
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zapatoes
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Threadtastic Postaholic
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
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#2
I think you may be treading on thin ice using the word 'retarded' in reference to what you are experiencing. Its an old school word for people with developmental issues and delays and people that have birth/genetic defects that occur separate from something like autism. I think its terrible that people called you retard, its a terrible term.
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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zapatoes
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New Member
Member Since Jan 2020
Location: Uruguay
Posts: 3
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#3
Sometimes I wished things were as clear to me as they're to you.
Yes, your stories sound a little strange, but they're not that bad. If I were you, I'd just limit my social interactions to the people who know me and will treat me well. In my case, I've taken several online tests trying to know whether I have some sort of OCD or even Autism, as I literally have no friends, no boyfriend and spend most of my time alone at home (except for the time I spend working). But online tests are not enough. The results say that there might be something wrong with me, but they don't know exactly what it is. I'm reading body language all of the time. I make assumptions about people and always end up thinking they don't stand me or they just hate me. I honestly hate social interactions, especially if there's a lot of people involved. I don't have any problem going out with a friend and grab a beer. But when there are more people involved, I feel really uncomfortable. I would love to have a group of people just like me, in order to interact with others with the same problems, whatever they are. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
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#4
I can relate. I’ve been called “retarded” then threatened physically by these same people. I’ve also been called emotionless by people at my current job. But whatever. It’s a them problem. It’s not even in my head. My coworker said a couple months ago “remember that other coworker who hated you?” I don’t do anything to people I just act and look awkward because of my autism.
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