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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2021
Location: MA: Stanberry, Missouri
Posts: 513
3 62 hugs
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#1
I feel that I've become negative and cynical. I have tried prayer but it hasn't changed my rather awful outlook on life. I have had times throughout life when others just couldn't stand being around me. I wish there was a way I could change this. I have had to make a real effort to be positive because I haven't felt that way inside. It never dawned on me I'd feel so alone. I have always hated my personality and the way I tend to repeat myself and that I seem to have trouble making friends. There is just a hole deep inside I just can't seem to fill. It seems like not even God can fill it. I have days when I feel nothing or I'm just sad. Sleep often helps me escape. I have had to drastically reduce any news intake because it would upset me. I seem to remember more bad memories than good ones. I have some good ones but that's it. I seem to give off terribly negative vibes. I have had thoughts of not even want to look like the same person as before. I tried hypnotism to banish bad memories and it has worked. I have had to use it from time to time even recently. Others get tired of me seemingly sad and so I often hide it. I wish there was a magic solution or something to make me more positive. I often thought it was the fault of my genes that I turned out a gloomy half empty kind of person. I have been accused of being selfish over the years too. I've grown numb to it now.
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zapatoes
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Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
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#2
So Sorry for what you're going through. i can partly relate, at least i think. Are you currently seeing a therapist? Perhaps that may Help you with what you're currently struggling with. Please do not give up. God does Love you. i Hope and Pray that things will improve soon. Hugs. Please do stau Safe. You matter. Eeveryone does. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @modestlychee6463, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2021
Location: MA: Stanberry, Missouri
Posts: 513
3 62 hugs
given |
#3
Thanks so much for your response. I was feeling rather low the other day, and I felt I was being shamed for it. That's what caused it. It seemed I felt better only when I got out of the house.
I have tried to go to therapy, but I can't afford it. I have tried several ways to help myself work through my issues without the high cost. Last edited by bluekoi; Apr 09, 2021 at 10:49 AM.. Reason: merge posts |
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