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modestlychee6463
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Default Apr 18, 2021 at 10:30 AM
  #1
It seems like I have little to feel proud of, and I'm starting to think I'm just not wanted in the world. Feeling rather down about life. How can you feel hopeful when all you seem to do is draw others' ire? It seems like I attract only the negative despite my efforts at being positive. I often don't feel listened to, I can feel others' resentment at times, and I'm starting to think I'm hardly the person others should talk to. Little seems to interest me at the moment. There seems to be little that I care about in the world because I see all this news and how pointless it is to even look at it. It's like what I do everyday seems meaningless. I have a life but hardly anyone to share it with. I'm serious. Part of me wants to be that 'someone else' the more positive person I was supposed to be, not the rather weird person that couldn't seem to form any connection. I didn't have anyone to contact or cheer me up. Today, I had to cheer myself up and fix my own pancakes that I was craving. I wish I could just connect with someone sometimes. It seems the older I get, the more disconnected I feel. I wonder if there's a point when you quit being significant. Attending a function just isn't the same as truly connecting with someone. It often makes me feel rather old inside when you think others get tired of you too. I just feel empty.
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Goose62
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Default Jun 27, 2021 at 04:28 AM
  #2
Hello Modestly,
A lot of what you post brings back vivid memories of how self absorbed and how much I used to beat my self up when I was younger. I am now a much older man of 63 years old and I can indeed tell you that things can and do get better as you learn to stop telling yourself lies that are somebody elses responsibility. What I mean by this is that it appears that whenever you have an awkward or unsuccessful social encounter you take 100% blame for it. That is a lie. In many social situations it can be and is the other persons negativity, anger, hangups, etc. That is the problem, and it has nothing to do with you or your condition. I have Asperbers syndrome myself, and these are things I just had to learn on my own journey.
I do face loneliness at different times even now, but it is not the crippling kind like when I was younger. The truth is that people like us really love to spend a lot of quiet time by ourselves. There is nothing abnormal about that for us, actually this is our happy place and our creator gave us this blessing/curse. You see, you are wrong in your presumption that people that you view as "normal" have a happy stress free life. That is another lie, nobody really has a significant advantage in their personality or social ability. We are all doomed to a life where we all have great trials or struggles. The social ones who seem to have this great life to you are cursing and are miserable for all of the drama and trouble they get from their unreliable and disloyal friends for only want to use them for their own selfish wants and needs.

Best Wishes

Last edited by bluekoi; Jun 27, 2021 at 11:53 AM.. Reason: Religion
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modestlychee6463
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Default Jun 27, 2021 at 10:49 PM
  #3
I have had loneliness that has felt crushing at times. I know everybody works and experiences disappointment and sure I have had to remind myself of that. It can be hard to make anything good happen with limited means to do so.
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Default Jun 28, 2021 at 02:50 AM
  #4
Maybe this is why I have a more active fantasy life than a real one. Real people are just too unreasonable sometimes! I stopped watching the news/weather if I could avoid it. I know you might like to stay informed, and that’s ok, but not watching them helped me a little with my anxiety.
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