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modestlychee6463
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Member Since: Mar 2021
Location: MA: Stanberry, Missouri
Posts: 513
3 yr Member
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Default May 03, 2021 at 10:08 PM
  #1
It seems like some days I just react out of the blue and I feel like it's my fault that my life doesn't seem to be working out all that well. It seems like everyone hates me and I hate life as a result. I don't see how I can enjoy it in this manner. I have days when I can't seem to get my mind off of this one person especially if they hurt me emotionally in some way. Over the years, I was treated like I ruined everything and half the time I believed I did. Then it made me strongly wish I was someone else. I didn't want to be that same me anymore. I don't know why in God's name my mother didn't give me away. I had terrible tantrums as a child because I didn't know what the hell was going on like other damn 'normal' children. Some parents really got lucky with 'normal' children. My mother didn't. I couldn't socialize like 'normal' children and it made my childhood a rather serious one instead of a normal playful one. I wish I could just get over this. I just feel like others see me as selfish. I didn't want to be felt sorry for. I just wanted more socialization.
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modestlychee6463
Veteran Member
modestlychee6463 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2021
Location: MA: Stanberry, Missouri
Posts: 513
3 yr Member
62 hugs
given
Default May 03, 2021 at 10:32 PM
  #2
It seems like others bring out the worst in me and that I'm meant to bring out the worst in them. It seems like I'm good at making everyone feel worse than before. I have trouble with rumination. I wish I had had more good memories of camp and outings and high school activities. It's ironic how I was able to make up for that. It seems like for at least half of my life, I was treated like I was unlikeable compared to more 'normal' people.
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