[modestlychee6463]

It seems like I seem to bring others down with my moods and all. I was feeling rather low about my state of life today. Mother wasn't feeling all that well. That brother of mine told me she wouldn't last more than another half of year. Mother remarked that he said that so he would get the money. It made me kind of sad to find this out. It seems like I have to get out of the place just to get out of this emotional hole I find myself in sometimes.

[shovelhead]

I'm sorry. To me, that's outrageous your brother said that. Of course that would sadden Anyone! But that doesn't make U depressing! More like, your brother is depressing.

[modestlychee6463]

I agree. I think you are right. Thanks.

[Goose62]

Honestly, most of the things that you are saying are lies that you keep telling yourself. Of course, there is a real thing called a "self fulfilling prophecy" where you can make the lie come true by always speaking in a negative and depressing way. We meet all kinds of people in life where the problem is with them not us, as they are filled with negativity, anger, their own life troubles, etc.
Autistics like to spend most of their time alone. You should embrace and celebrate this. Instead of thinking about all of the "great" things that your mind perceives you are missing, maybe thing about all of the "horrible" trouble you are being spared by not being involved with all of these impossible and difficult selfish humans.

[modestlychee6463]

I have reminded myself over and over about this concept of being spared the horrible trouble of not being involved with these toxic human beings. The trouble is, it's just that I have kind of struggled with finding the right people for me, I guess.

[modestlychee6463]

I think they are lies when you think about it. It's just that I was shamed in the last year for seemingly depressing someone. You read that right.

[modestlychee6463]

I won't be around to depress people pretty soon.