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modestlychee6463
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Default Oct 28, 2021 at 12:59 AM
  #1
Life seems enjoyable as long as I don't feel upset over anything lost or misplaced or something bad happening at the last minute. I feel like I'm treated like I am a bad fixation waiting to happen that would ruin everything. It has made me kind of wish I had turned out different. It makes me feel all around crappy when I have times like that. I had trouble with this over the years and as a result, I was a real target resentment.
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Default Oct 28, 2021 at 02:15 AM
  #2
This feels familiar! Most people will feel uncomfortable being around a person who is upset because often they feel helpless, which can also bring up feelings of shame and anger - this is more about them than you, but it’s almost impossible to parse those things out in the moment. It’s difficult knowing how to help the upset person, especially because there’s a risk they will lash out at us; it feels personal even when it isn’t.
On the other hand, as you’ve likely found, this is a time when other people can seem callous (or reveal their lack of empathy, depending) in an attempt to shut the other person down, so they can stop feeling uncomfortable. Not helpful or good in the short or long term for the other person.
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Default Oct 28, 2021 at 11:31 PM
  #3
I try to keep that in mind. I realize that a lot of the problem was because I was trying to do several things at once and not having very good organizational skills.
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Default Jan 08, 2022 at 06:48 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by modestlychee6463 View Post
Life seems enjoyable as long as I don't feel upset over anything lost or misplaced or something bad happening at the last minute. I feel like I'm treated like I am a bad fixation waiting to happen that would ruin everything. It has made me kind of wish I had turned out different. It makes me feel all around crappy when I have times like that. I had trouble with this over the years and as a result, I was a real target resentment. :(
I have a nephew who has autism who is going through this.

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And life goes on.

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Default Feb 16, 2022 at 07:03 PM
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I have a friend who I think would relate to this. Sending hugs

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Default Feb 16, 2022 at 07:06 PM
  #6
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Originally Posted by RoxanneToto View Post
This feels familiar! Most people will feel uncomfortable being around a person who is upset because often they feel helpless, which can also bring up feelings of shame and anger - this is more about them than you, but it’s almost impossible to parse those things out in the moment. It’s difficult knowing how to help the upset person, especially because there’s a risk they will lash out at us; it feels personal even when it isn’t.
On the other hand, as you’ve likely found, this is a time when other people can seem callous (or reveal their lack of empathy, depending) in an attempt to shut the other person down, so they can stop feeling uncomfortable. Not helpful or good in the short or long term for the other person.
Good post, it's extremely..... sad...... when other people are callous or reveal their lack of empathy, or both. Shutting someone down, ''bad'' in both the short and longer term. Grrrrrrrrr

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