[modestlychee6463]

It doesn't seem like I'll make it out in the world. I have had trouble with being so upset with things going wrong for me lately. I have struggled terribly with depression and have suffered terrible bouts of loneliness and almost going into meltdowns because of it. I haven't had much luck in forming relationships as an adult and I've been lucky to work out even if it was just a housecleaning job. I felt patronized and once had some nasty remark thrown at me about my reactions to things. I don't know what the hell God wants me here for. Just to make me suffer and to force me with people. I remember the times I was treated hostilely and sometimes made fun of for my strange mannerisms. I have had trouble letting past hurts slide and that's why I have had to distract myself quite a bit. a lot of my thoughts are often not pleasant, and I can be quite negative. It kind of makes me dislike myself sometimes. I was lucky to get any friendship or fun while I was in grade school. I knew then my life wouldn't be all that great. I knew how strange I looked to everybody and that I certainly wouldn't be all that damn popular or accomplish a whole lot.

[CANDC]

@modestlychee6463 I am sorry that the world is so challenging for you. It seems like a lot to handle when I was young. As I got older, I started to see that other people are suffering just like me even if they do not admit it.

I did a lot of part time jobs in my younger days and that did help me narrow down my field of interest. Also volunteering helped my self esteem and helped me learn how to cope with life in general.

I am glad you are part of the MSF community. Keep letting us know how things are going. We appreciate hearing from you. @CANDC

[modestlychee6463]

Thank you, CANDC.

[modestlychee6463]

Sometimes I think I'll never be happy. I don't know why. I feel I'm not smart enough for happiness to happen.

[modestlychee6463]

I can go to hell for all I care. laughs.

[AzulOscuro]

Hello,
I’m sorry that you are struggling with a so many difficulties.

You say you don’t know why you are here. I’m gonna reply. You’re here because you deserve it and because you are marvellous, no matter if some people don’t notice it, I’m sure others will do it.
You can be different but let me tell you that everybody is different in different sense. You’re not less than others. I swear.

Apart from the difficulties when being a kid in relation to social interactions and being over aware of your differences, did you suffered some kind of bullying? I ask you because you seem to have a very harm self-esteem.

Nice to meet you, although under these circumstances.