[englndm]

I have Asperger's and was only diagnosed recently at the age of 58. It was largely through working as a substitute teaching assistant that I came to the realization of having AS.

I do a variety of assignments, mostly special ed. However, this story took place in an elementary school gym where I was subbing for the P.E. aide.

I noticed a third-grade boy who was just standing next to me in the middle of the gym floor. I asked him why wasn't he at one of the stations and he shrugged his shoulders. I said, "How about basketball? No. How about tether? Ugh-hu. Jump rope or hula-hoop? Same answer. I asked him what he liked to do. He said, "EAT!" I couldn't keep a straight face.

Now I could have pushed him to picking a station but instead we took a walk around the gym floor. I gathered he was the "loner" type and I could relate to that all too well. One of the loneliest places for me when I was his age was P.E. I remember how I dreaded those times when the P.E. coach would tell us to find a partner. I usually had to depend on the coach to find me one in front of the other kids. I see this happen over and over when I sub in P.E. There's at least one, if not more, kids in every class who wander around looking for a classmate to take them in.

As we walked together, I asked him questions such as what he was wishing for Christmas. He said, "Food!" This boy has more "food" on his brain than his tummy. I asked him what his favorite food was and he said "hamburger" and what hamburger place he liked best and he said "Mom's". I figured he meant Mom's homemade hamburgers were better than any fast food joint. He pulled out his Mom's business card with a beaming smile on his face. He was so PROUD of his Mom and it seemed to be of comfort to him to have the card with her phone number. He let me see the card and she worked at a hamburger restaurant. She may have been the owner or manager of it. That explained his favorite food and that it was at Mom's restaurant.

He told me he had one sibling who is his 18 year old sister who works with Mom at the restaurant. Since there's a big difference in ages, perhaps he's not used to playing with kids his own age. He feels more comfortable with adults than other kids and I was that way when I was his age. Now I prefer hanging out with kids. HA!

I again saw a child where I saw a lot of "ME" in him. That's why I didn't push him to jump rope or throw baskets, but took a walk with him instead. I had the privilege, and I do consider it a privilege, to let that child know that he wasn't invisible to me.

I gave him a little bit of time and attention that I wished someone had given me when I was his age. The past can't be changed or relived. But my job gives me numerous opportunities to help young ones who struggle with what I struggle with and still do.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by englndm

I gathered he was the "loner" type and I could relate to that all too well...

Same here. Whenever teams were being picked on the playground, I was almost always one of the last to be "chosen"...such as when the two captains would agree one of them would take me and the other would take the other remaining candidate. I have never actually been diagnosed, but I also became aware in my late-50s and now also notice and try to befriend others I would never have otherwise recognized. Congrats and commendations to you!