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TrespassersWill
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Default Jun 26, 2009 at 04:28 PM
  #1
One neuropsych I saw said they shouldn't because Aspies naturally just don't care to be around others. For me its not having as much need as normal people seem to have to need to have others around them. But also its partly that I avoid people because conversation is awkward and eye contact is awkward and when I do actually speak up I usually get laughed at or people just look back at me weird. So its like why bother? So is that truly APD?

Anyone know where I am coming from?
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Fox
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Default Sep 05, 2009 at 11:02 AM
  #2
It's hard to say online but from what you describe that's the norm for aspergers. (has a brother who has aspergers) http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx8.htm here's the description of APD. It's more of a fear of rejection and needing to only be around people who are pleased with you. I thrive on praise. If I'm criticized I feel like the person doesn't like me and I try everything I can to avoid that person. Sometimes that's not possible since I work with people who I feel hate me.

What are you saying that makes people laugh? I know with my brother he's an attention seeker and likes to make people laugh though sometimes I can tell he was serious and people are still laughing. I can read him very well just cause we grew up together whereas he comes across as "off" to most people. People tend to laugh even when something isn't funny. My mom laughs if she doesn't hear us or understand what we said instead of asking us to explain or repeat ourselves. Some people do that cause they're too embarrassed since they think they're supposed to know what your talking about when you go over their heads.

Aspergers in itself causes social awkwardness but you do want to try to be in social situations. Whereas with my own experience I won't speak up unless I'm sure there's going to be positive feedback or at least a predictable response that I can deal with. But everyone's different. If you're seeing a T and you're curious about APD you should ask them about it since they see you enough to know what you're really like and not just what you see.
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Default Sep 30, 2009 at 01:33 PM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrespassersWill View Post
One neuropsych I saw said they shouldn't because Aspies naturally just don't care to be around others. For me its not having as much need as normal people seem to have to need to have others around them. But also its partly that I avoid people because conversation is awkward and eye contact is awkward and when I do actually speak up I usually get laughed at or people just look back at me weird. So its like why bother? So is that truly APD?

Anyone know where I am coming from?
Yes, I think I know where you are coming from. I avoid people because I feel awkward around them. I think I have some suggestions, but that doesn't mean I can change myself, necessarily. You say that when you speak up people look at you wierd. They won't do that, if you use your speech to ask them appropriate questions about themselves, or to compliment them on something you honestly admire about them. "Where did you get those wonderful shoes" won't bring any wierd looks if the shoes really are nice and you really like them. I don't think anyone makes eye contact all the time when they are conversing. Just now and then. To make eye contact all the time would probably be inappropriate, and you would notice that the other person would look away. Look at another part of the person's face, such as their mouth, when you converse. In the natural course of conversation, you will automatically make eye contact when it is appropriate, but it will be momentary. Caring About You ~ billieJ
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