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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,410
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.4k hugs
given |
#1
I've been hurt so many times by people I trusted. IRL. I won't go into details. I've decided to return to my old "coping" mechanism, of isolation. Don't get close, don't agree to talk to anyone every day, don't share who you really are. Dont care "too much".
This is in Real Life, (3D) I've known people there who have used and hurt me emotionally. I think they think I'm easy to hurt. ![]() ![]() ![]() __________________ ![]() |
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Grand Member
Member Since Aug 2009
Location: Fringes of the bell-shaped curve
Posts: 779
14 59 hugs
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#2
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() __________________ "I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!" (Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,410
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.4k hugs
given |
#3
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Magnate
Member Since Dec 2009
Posts: 2,511
14 297 hugs
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#4
Sorry you are hurting.
![]() probably getting away from hurtful people is good but I think it would be a good thing if you could try to meet a new person, one that is kind..... (yea, I know easy to say- not easy to do..... I do really know! ![]() psst-- BTW this is "mandyfins" back from a long absence. |
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Legendary
Member Since Jul 2004
Location: dreamy land
Posts: 16,874
(SuperPoster!)
19 459 hugs
given |
#5
((((Fuzzybear)))
I, too, have been viciously preyed upon, people who knew they could dominate me they went ahead and hurt me over and over..namely, my family ![]() I had to set boundaries with them, even become a little assertive and confront them, which did not feel natural to me in the least.. but if it is friendships, you can discard these people with a click of DELETE from your cell phone directory or DELETE from your facebook account I have found true, true, oh so true friends to help me get over the hurt from my family and I found them in/by: 1. Churches, church events I have joined 2. Support groups I have joined for depression 3. Giving out my number to people who I had a good feeling for from the getko, who were obviously warm, caring, loving people 4. finding an interest (for me, karaoke..) that brings people together 5. Choosing to spend my precious time with uplifters, people that do not judge/tear down ever, ever, ever You are soooo wonderful here at PC, Fuzzybear, you deserve the WORLD then more on top of that.. ...Now, if you can make practical suggestions, apply them, there are GOOD CARING PEOPLE OUT THERE I promise to you, I promise to me, The trick is finding them, and not letting yourself get closed up by the assholes of this world Fuzzybear if you close yourself to everyone including the good out there.. ..........then the assholes have won.. Forgive them, forgiving is a creative act that opens yourself up, it is an act you do for yourself_!!! Do not reconcile with assholes, but do forgive FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, and go in peace..... Please try the places I have mentioned, or at least think about it, sending deep love and understanding your way............................... ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() __________________ ![]() |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#6
I was struck by these quotes:
The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration. ~Pearl S. BuckI know the toll isolation exacts. There is a void. Nonetheless, I lack some social skills. One therapist was kind enough to tell me I was a social retard. Maybe so? This article speaks to me: http://www.alive.com/6980a17a2.php?s..._bread_cramb=5 Particularly this quote:“Loneliness is a greater risk for morbidity or mortality than cigarette smoking,” says Nicholas Epley, assistant professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago. I was able to quit smoking years ago. Maybe there is time yet for me to transform the beast? Fuzzybear, will you join my quest? |
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New Member
Member Since Dec 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 5
14 |
#7
When you say "put yourself out there", what if you do and no one seems to acknowledge you? Then what? I keep trying, but I don't find anyone who wants to become a friend. This has been going on for years.
Is having trouble making friends a symptom of bipolar, never having been taught how to, or some other kind of disorder? Do we worry about rejection more than others? Do they feel like bipols are like chameleons and they don't want to get close because they don't know if we are goofing around with them? Lots of questions, I know. How can other people get to see them? Thanks |
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Legendary
Member Since Jul 2004
Location: dreamy land
Posts: 16,874
(SuperPoster!)
19 459 hugs
given |
#8
(((((((((((((((((((jsdecker))))))))))))))))))
Hugs ![]() ![]() __________________ ![]() |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jan 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 538
15 80 hugs
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#9
Fuzzy
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Member
Member Since Dec 2009
Location: Hell
Posts: 165
14 |
#10
(((Fuzzy))) I hear you loud & clear on that one. (And I'm reading!)
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Member
Member Since Jan 2010
Posts: 40
14 |
#11
I can't believe how many times you've posted!! Nice to meet you. I isolate everyday. I am used to it now. I only see my mom and sister. I check my mail late at night to avoid seeing anybody. Mom brings my groceries and supplies to me and I just pay her back with a check. I have my cat, and he is my best friend. Peace be with you.
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2008
Location: N/A
Posts: 2,151
16 747 hugs
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#12
((((Fuzzybear))))
I isolate a lot. I also have been hurt by mean, stupid people. They are predators. ![]() |
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Junior Member
Member Since Nov 2018
Location: Europe
Posts: 12
5 1 hugs
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#13
I live in almost complete isolation. I'm on disability so I don't have to work and I live in my parents' house. I go out only when strictly necessary and of course I haven't got any friends or a partner. I haven't been diagnosed with AvPD but I'm fairly sure I have quite a few traits. I kind of doubt I have the disorder because most people here can at least recall a time when they were normal, whereas I've always been a social misfit.
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Magnate
Member Since Nov 2016
Location: georgia
Posts: 2,137
7 10.2k hugs
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#14
Quote:
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Junior Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: Tortuga
Posts: 11
7 |
#15
Also really relatable. It's hard, but you are not alone. There are people (like me) who truelly understand. Sending you big hugs!
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![]() Fuzzybear, TunedOut
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Islandia
Posts: 4,263
(SuperPoster!)
5 10.9k hugs
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#16
Yes can relate Im most comfortable isolating and staying in most days.
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Member
Member Since May 2016
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 220
8 152 hugs
given |
#17
I just want to thank everyone.
![]() ![]() 'He who hears music feels his solitude peopled at once.' --Robert Browning. __________________ 'Religion is for people who are afraid of going to Hell. Spirituality is for those who have already been there.' --Vine Deloria 'Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.' --Anonymous |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Islandia
Posts: 4,263
(SuperPoster!)
5 10.9k hugs
given |
#18
This past weekend I did get out on Saturday with two nice friends to a local festival and it was fun, and I’m glad I went. Did avoid the meetup event today and hesitant to go out most days and do really like one group so maybe there some hope for me. Had to get out Saturday since wretchedly depressed and 6-8 years ago a psychologist did give good advice to try to be around people more.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since May 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 1,523
5 6,984 hugs
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#19
Quote:
That there are people who have hurt someone as sweet as you makes me angry! ![]() I am learning to share less with the people who don't seem to care or just act like they care because they want something from me. I have to remind myself about their past behavior all of the time. I forgive easily--which is good for my soul but I also need to keep in mind their past behavior and not be so easily played in the future. Thanks for being someone who we can trust! Thanks for your big, wonderful, loving sensitive heart! Thanks for being part of the PC community!! ![]() |
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,410
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.4k hugs
given |
#20
Quote:
![]() ![]() ![]() I've made a lot of mistakes ![]() ![]() but sometimes mean people target us for no reason other than they think we are a possible target. ![]() I too am learning to share much less with people who don't care ![]() thank you also for your big, loving, wonderful, sensitive heart dear friend ![]() ![]() btw people don't like it when I set boundaries.. unlike a few people I'm not mean when I do this though ![]() (not about anyone on pc) __________________ ![]() |
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