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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,121
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Jul 27, 2011 at 09:41 AM
#21
Yeah, well over we all have stuff to work on. A good cognitive therapist could help you find ways to improve your outlook. A friend I have here, madisgram, really swears by it and it really helped her so much. There are others here too that have really gained by that kind of therapy. Your not alone you know, learning how to deal with other people takes time. And if you don't have parents that teach you the ropes so to speak it makes it very hard to know where to start.
madisgram may have some good books for you to read, why don't you ask her what she might suggest. Chin up, don't worry about being behind, just concentrate on you and how you are going to move forward. And work on getting that liscence. Open Eyes |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2011
Posts: 37
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Jul 27, 2011 at 06:31 PM
#22
Sure, will do. Thanks again.
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New Member
Member Since Oct 2009
Posts: 4
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Jul 29, 2011 at 04:58 AM
#23
"Sometimes I even jot down what I'm going to say."
Whatever works, right? "My sister, who was there during all of it, told me she couldn't tell I was nervous, lol." Haha, interesting. It always feels like people can see right through you when you are nervous, but maybe not... "I'd like to volunteer, too, but I'm too scared. So you don't have your driver's license either?" I hate to admit it, but yeah, it's scary for me too. I imagine the best part about volunteering is that they're more desperate to accept people. Once you get in, though, it becomes just like having a job. Having to interact with other people and do your job correctly. Except there's that whole not getting paid part. Nope, no driver's license. I wouldn't be able to afford a car or insurance anyway, so there's no point in me getting that over a state ID. If I can somehow get a job at some point, I might have to force myself to get a driver's license. I don't even care that much about driving. Never have. I'm probably in the minority there. |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2011
Posts: 37
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Jul 29, 2011 at 05:36 PM
#24
Quote:
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That's pretty much why it's taken me so long to get my license. I didn't get it earlier because I didn't care to. I figured it was unnecessary because I mean, I didn't like going out (didn't wish to be seen) and I had no friends. Now I really regret that. I still don't care about driving, but there's times when I want to go out on my own and I can't. Sucks. If only I could live in place where everything is within a walking distance... |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,121
(SuperPoster!)
13 21.4k hugs
given
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Jul 29, 2011 at 09:24 PM
#25
Driving cars can be fun. And it can help you feel more freedom. It isn't that big a deal. If a 90 year old guy can drive any one can.
You have to push yourself a little. You can do it. Open Eyes |
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Junior Member
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: moon
Posts: 19
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Aug 01, 2011 at 03:43 PM
#26
Hey 'over', I've skimmed through this thread.
...sorry if I misunderstood anything. But I can certainly relate to being left behind... I'm 30 and just got my learner's permit, I must wait a year for my driver's license. Yes, having a care will cost a lot of money, but at least I'll have the freedom to go where I want and won't feel a burden to friends or a girlfriend, IF I EVER FIND A FRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND. I live in parents basement, completely alone except for online chats and time at work. But I find pleasure sometimes in simple things. Discovering new music etc... I am unhappy alot, but I always remember it's in my head. Other people really don't think of me the way I do, and slowly I make progress. You are only 22?? you have alot of time, take it easy on yourself. 
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Member
Member Since Mar 2011
Posts: 31
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Aug 04, 2011 at 12:22 AM
#27
can you develop a skill? you seem pretty smart. for example, maybe you are good with computers? this can lead to a temp job, and then a real job. IT doesn't care much about fancy degrees and you'll find lots of shy people in these departments.
can you join a church or other group? this will lead to some socializing that improves your comfort level with others. can you make a friend with an outcast? like someone who will overlook your nervousness and just be happy to have a friend? sounds lame, but it will make u feel good. it could even be volunteering in a shelter or old age home if you can do any of these things DO THEM NOW! the one sure thing is that time marches only in one direction... |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2011
Posts: 37
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Aug 04, 2011 at 11:24 PM
#28
Thanks for your responses.
True, Open Eyes. I know I will feel a lot more free and independent once I start driving. why_all_alone, I got my learner's permit when I was 19 or so. Started at 18, but had to wait a year because I failed the test. What kind of job do you have? Do you have a degree? Discovering new music is cool.  I suppose I do have a lot of time. Ugh, MUST use it wisely... lostmyfuture, I'm pretty good with computers. I'm not like a technician or anything, but I suppose I could learn. I'm actually a fast learner. I don't go to church and I don't know if I will like volunteering there. If I could I would try volunteering at a hospital, but like I told BryGuy, I'm too scared to do so. I don't know what other social groups I can join. I wish I knew another "outcast", but I don't know anyone and I don't see how I can meet someone like that. True, time marches in only one direction. |
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Junior Member
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: moon
Posts: 19
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Aug 07, 2011 at 10:54 PM
#29
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Member
Member Since Jul 2011
Posts: 37
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Aug 11, 2011 at 12:14 PM
#30
^So you've actually been diagnosed with AvPD, am I right?
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Junior Member
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: moon
Posts: 19
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Aug 11, 2011 at 06:54 PM
#31
Self diagnosed twice online. I am considering therapy...but am not sure.
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Member
Member Since Jul 2011
Posts: 37
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Aug 12, 2011 at 01:21 PM
#32
^You should get therapy. I know I really need it. I have no way of going, though.
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Junior Member
Member Since Nov 2011
Posts: 6
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Nov 10, 2011 at 11:37 AM
#33
I'm 34 and I still feel like a teenager. I look around at people my age and they seem like a different species. Sometime I'm able to laugh at what a weirdo I am, but it's horribly depressing to be so alone.
Someday I'll grow up. Someday... but not today! *goes to play in the forest with the animals* |
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Member
Member Since May 2008
Posts: 29
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Nov 12, 2011 at 11:18 AM
#34
I'm 35 and I feel the same way iscarabaider. Divorced at 27. No kids- but two cats who are the love of my life! No degree (can't pass my speech class which is required at the community college- obtained all other credits for an associates degree). And I've been out of work (hate my job btw) on disability for anxiety and depression. Have been out since June 28th. Afraid to go back but terrified of a new job- especially the interview process and resume. You're not alone....
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Member
Member Since Jul 2011
Posts: 37
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Dec 30, 2011 at 03:09 PM
#35
^ Thanks for the responses, iscarabaider and ALissa3.
I really don't see what I'm going to do when I come to be your age. :/ I don't feel I'm ever going to be capable of finishing school, I don't think I'd ever get a job (and without a job I can't afford my own pets ), I don't think I'd ever get with anyone and I don't even think I'd get out of my parents' house......Is there any way to delete this thread? I'm feeling very uneasy about it. Don't want anyone I know to find it. :/ |
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New Member
Member Since Dec 2011
Posts: 2
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Jan 01, 2012 at 02:59 PM
#36
I relate to alot of your feelings. Im 53 though. I have given in to my feelings most of my life and allowed myself to full fill the diagnosis. I suggest you try to avoid that fate.
I am not a therapist. So this is just an opinion. Your depression is to a large extent just a symptom of your avoidance and fear. It will of course get worse as you give into it. The alternative is a huge challenge. To get over the depression by taking action that in turn brings up the fear and anxiety. My only suggestion for someone so young with so much to look forward to, if you can overcome, is try to find a passion of some kind that does not require you to confront your fears all the time. Throw yourself into it 100%. Write Paint,draw, create art. fix things decide to have the best abs in your neighborhood. find things to do alone that after a long while will add value to your life. Things that dont require you to challenge your fears so much. Then you might find that pride in your devotion gives you more courage . Good Luck, Do as I say not as I do, lol. |
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Member
Member Since Nov 2011
Location: Missouri, USA
Posts: 69
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Jan 09, 2012 at 03:32 PM
#37
You are deffinitely not the only one who feels this way. I'm 22 and feel the same way. I feel guilty about it too. Like, I feel that it's all my fault that my life is so horrible, so then I feel even worse about it. I wish I could give some advice, but I'm still trying to figure it out for myself too...
(((over))) |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2011
Posts: 37
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Jan 21, 2012 at 12:28 AM
#38
^ Thanks, guys.
JamesHJones: Yes, I should focus more on improving myself than hating myself. I've lost interest in what I used to love doing. I'm beginning to think that the only solution is to just force myself to do things again... jnt1989: Don't worry. Knowing that someone else can relate is sufficient. And yeah, a huge part of this is my fault. I shouldn't have been so weak and let everything get to me... Good luck to both of you! |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2011
Posts: 37
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Jan 21, 2012 at 05:59 PM
#39
Please delete this thread!! I don't want my family finding me on here!
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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