Disorder Affecting My Life

I feel like my inability to connect with other people has led me to lose many jobs. I am always the person escorted out. No one bothers to talk to me or explain things to me. It has limited my options as, I now think maybe I am the problem. I am nice, I speak but it still is resentment and annoyance whenever I am around people. I am actually teased by people I work with. I back down to show them, I am not a person to be threatened by so be nice but they never do and I always end up losing everything and having to restart my life. It is embarrassing. I am very bright, attractive and motivated but I am broke, single and friendless. I can't put the two together. I always feel like there is something going on, that I am fully aware of but that I try to convince my self is not real because "I" don't feel like it should be, so I don't get aggressive and assert myself when I should and everyone gets away with treating me badly. I feel like I have been emotionally assaulted so many times and I feel that my personality has impeded my success in life. I should never have had to struggle and I have. It confuses me because everyone is just avoiding me now, they are happy they never dated me that long, glad they are not my friend. When they would have killed just call me on the phone just a year ago. I have a bright future but I feel like I am doing nothing right, I feel resentful toward others so I disassociate and that leads to me being isolated. What do I do?

Wow, Brimmer, that's a great deal of bad stuff. Have you ever been to a psychologist or other therapist for an evaluation? Also, how did you do in school? Friends there?

Do you dream? Can you share a couple?

Terri

Hi Brimmer, Where is all the resentment coming from? Do you need to verbalize that to your co-workers? How do you know what your friends are thinking about you ? have they told you? They may not think that at all. I don't think you need to be aggressive just assertive. I have a rough time around people I don't know, they make me nervous as if I am not good enough. Do you have a therapist or Dr. or medication? Keep posting it does help. I wish you well.

Sadly, we don't have control of others or their actions. We do have control over ourselves (to some extent). I have experienced similar frustration, as I think many people have in some form. To be put down and rejected sucks!

The way I survive is by trying to relate with others, even on the simplest level..around feelings. I also look at my part in situations. I have to admit I can be judgmental or make assumptions about the behavior of others. A great story, and so common in daily life..
"I shared something extremely important with a close friend, however, their reaction was disengaged, and I felt hurt, thinking, "they don't care, why bother" or "I don't deserve this".. Later I have come to find that they were experiencing something in their life where they couldn't be available as I wish they could."

Basic expectations seem given, however, people fall short; we fall short. I try to ask for what I need, or better yet, ask for clarification about someone's behavior toward me, rather than assuming the meaning of it. Like, "why do you feel this way? Please help me understand. What is your perception; where do I not see?"
It is hard to hear painful feedback, but I swear if I just listen (get upset later) and try to objectively analyze what they are saying..often there is some truth to it. Accepting feedback is the best way to change. (In my opinion)

Sometimes, too, there are jerks who are rude and say harsh things. I feel we can all learn things from these people, however, I try to stay away from someone who puts mean labels onto me. Constructive feedback (although painful to take it) vs Emotional outbursts.

I hope you experience more clarification around this. I, and many others, are here to support you.