Possibly AvPD?

I'm just looking for opinions as I'm curious...
I was diagnosed with anxiety when I was 13 or 14 and I started going to a psychiatrist when I was 17, not old enough to get a diagnosis of course. I've not been there for quite a bit, but now I'm 18.

I've had social anxiety symptoms since I was in first grade and they just got worse and worse from there. I think I was overly sensitive somehow and things just stuck to me and never left, things like even just very light rejection. I always wanted to get over it, but I never could. I realized at some point my social anxiety was a lot worse than most peoples' and much more stubborn. I realized it wasn't something I could just work to get over.

I've always had trouble doing even simple things like talking on the phone, talking to a store clerk, talking to teachers, talking to anyone. I've even been uncomfortable with my own family. I'm definitely uncomfortable with outside family members. I've always thought something I said would be off and when I did try to come out and push myself, I was so self conscious I felt everything strongly, like everything was weird or stupid or abnormal and I would indefinitely cause people to just pause because I'm some alien who doesn't know how to communicate. The most significant thing is just that I felt those things so strongly, that's what made it to where I could never get over my social anxiety.

I've seen people on the internet talk about their social anxiety and how they have to come out of their shells and they had a few friends and whatever...I never had any real friends nor did I have a shell I needed to come out of. I was never just guarded with people for a short while, I was guarded eternally. I did have a couple of friends in elementary, but that was just elementary. In middle school there were two girls I hanged out with because some school worker saw me sitting alone and introduced me to them and I enjoyed going around with them because it made me feel I stood out less. Like if I just went around and sat around alone, I'd feel extremely awkward. Despite knowing how irrational and stupid it was, I was never able to get over the thought people were always staring at me and looking down at me and things I did. Definitely sensitive to embarrassment or rejection. Like if I saw some machine in a crowded lot, I wouldn't fool with it just because I don't want to look like an idiot if I do it wrong whereas if I was alone, I'd have no problem exploring it.

I'm completely incapable of being in the moment when it comes to social things

I've avoided many things such as talking to teachers, presenting things(both of which resulted in bad grades), school itself, just general important things I shouldn't avoid

Up to some point in early high school from middle school, I would look at other kids and feel I was inferior and not as good because I didn't fit in and I wasn't as social and whatever else. I did get over that, though, I gained a bit of confidence in high school even though I was never able to get over the anxiety

Right now, I'm on prozac and it's helping a lot. But I'm still curious about this

Do you have a psychotherapist to help you with this? You have lots of good insight and a therapist would be helpful in helping you be who you want to be.

Avoidance is a coping mechanism. It works in the short term, but isn't helpful for long range plans. In the short term we avoid the machine in the crowded lot and we feel relief from the risk of looking like an idiot. In the long term, we miss the opportunity to be naturally curious about the machine and the freedom to explore our curiosity and to realize that other people thinking of us as an idiot is about them; it doesn't make us an idiot, because we know we are just naturally curious! (And their thinking of another being an idiot can be about their own desire to explore and their fears about that).

Prozac won't do anything for your thought processes, but psychotherapy will help you explore that with a non-judgmental acceptance and with a shared curiosity.