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A lonely Loner
Member Since Oct 2008
Location: Away from Polaris
Posts: 3,236
15 1,809 hugs
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#1
So i know my avoidant has ruined every relation that i had because iam cold and i cant expresses my emotion in a right way, well there's nothing i can do to change that right now its past...now i've been trying i really want to get over this , for example :
my best friend he is sick so his been hospitalized a lot , so he cant talk to me as much as before and i feel like every time we talked he dont really want to talk to me ( negative thinking) he always in a rush to go somewhere or he just tired (half of me do know that he is sick and need a lot of rest but i still think that he dont really want to talk to me or every time he talked to me he just being nice ( crazy i know) but last week after me thinking for few hours i wrote an email to him asking about that , i asked if he avoiding me or its just my brain get distorted again and he replied me that he really want to talk to me but he is sick ( i am feeling guilty for being selfish ) but hey iam trying usually i never asked i just assumed and then i will became distant and i will never make any effort to contact him until he contact me first even if i think about him everyday, that the first one. the second one , few days back when i felt so sad, we were talking and i told him he should get some rest but the ruth is i still want to talk to him but i pretend its okay you can go and smile pretend like its okay and i understand, the truth is i want him to still talk to me and the after 10 min i sent him a message i still want to talk to him if he have nothing to do or not feel tired so we talked it might look like a simple thing to people but not to me , i didn't do all those thing my fear of rejection make me fully aware even to the sign of rejection so i walk away first every time i think its a sign of rejection so iam trying and iam still trying the thing is i need to remember to try __________________ As long as people aren't asking me if i'm all right, i am alright. Last edited by Puffyprue; May 07, 2012 at 09:00 AM.. |
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Anonymous37781, carrie_ann, kindachaotic, Stoda
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Member Since Aug 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 257
13 1,105 hugs
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#2
Hoorah! That's great to hear puffyprue! I'm so proud of you for trying, I know it isn't easy. Celebrate your efforts, do something nice for yourself - you deserve it!
Congratulations!! Stoda __________________ Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow." ~Mary Anne Radmacher |
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Puffyprue
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Puffyprue
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A lonely Loner
Member Since Oct 2008
Location: Away from Polaris
Posts: 3,236
15 1,809 hugs
given |
#3
Quote:
theres a part of me wish so hard that i could be just like everyone else, but this is me , simple thing might hardest thing to do but at least iam trying to change that __________________ As long as people aren't asking me if i'm all right, i am alright. |
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carrie_ann, Stoda
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Member
Member Since May 2012
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 41
12 |
#4
Great job! You should be proud of yourself. Every step is a step to freedom even if it's only babysteps...that's the way I do everything in life..baby steps......
__________________ The only person you should ever compete with is yourself. You can't hope for a fairer match. ~Todd Ruthman~ Never Give Up! G |
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