Why would any girl want me?

Just because someone's never had a conversation with a guy that makes them a child? Lol what?

HOW DARE YOU LOL MEEE! Just kidding. You are allowed to have your opinion but without trying to make others look ridiculous.

What you said kind of offended me so I reacted to it. I'm sorry for making you think that I'm trying to make you look ridiculous. I don't try to make anyone look ridiculous. I just react to things that offend me.

I didnt wish to do that, I just belive social interaction is an important part of growing up. Ok, sorry if i offended you.

I'm sorry, too.

I kind of think I was born with low self esteem. People have always told me I'm beautiful/ smart/ talented. And I have an amazingly loving family but I remember even as early as kindergarten hating that I was bigger than the other girls and noticing that the smallest girl in the class got the most piggybacks. I didn't think of myself as fat, just that there was something wrong.
And when I'm told stories of me as a baby apparently I could just be left alone for a good half hour with no toys and I'd be content. And when I fell I'd pick myself back up. I still can simply sit and observe and when I'm hurt pyhsically/emotionally I avoid others but now I know why; I'm uncomfortable with attention and I don't want to be an attention seeker because no one wants to deal with my issues that I'm just making a big deal of.

This thread just gave me a good laugh.

Glad you enjoyed it.

I would agree that some people are possibly born with a tendency for things like low-self esteem because their personality makes them more easily offended etc. You know, some people are more sensitive than others, like me for example.

But, I'm really the opposite. I crave attention. I THRIVE on it. I'm a performer anyway and by the way I look, no one is going to forget me. But I can't connect with others in anything other than a superficial way. And if I try to connect at a deeper levels I become terrified that the person is going to hurt me. And not necessarily emotionally—with guys I'm afraid that they will physically hurt me in very bad ways and I honestly see them as monsters and start avoiding them. I mean, I know what happens if I get too close to a guy or even try to... And with girls, I become more and more jealous of them the more I know them and it's really bad for my self-esteem to be around them and see how they have things that I want (like say a relationship for example). Or I'll become attracted to them...but it's worse for guys if I become attracted to them (I will avoid them as much as possible). But then, what do I know? Apparently my current psychiatrist doesn't believe that I have AvPD at all...that I just have long-term depression, anxiety, and a mood disorder.