Why would any girl want me?

I would agree that some people are possibly born with a tendency for things like low-self esteem because their personality makes them more easily offended etc. You know, some people are more sensitive than others, like me for example.

But, I'm really the opposite. I crave attention. I THRIVE on it. I'm a performer anyway and by the way I look, no one is going to forget me. But I can't connect with others in anything other than a superficial way. And if I try to connect at a deeper levels I become terrified that the person is going to hurt me. And not necessarily emotionally—with guys I'm afraid that they will physically hurt me in very bad ways and I honestly see them as monsters and start avoiding them. I mean, I know what happens if I get too close to a guy or even try to... And with girls, I become more and more jealous of them the more I know them and it's really bad for my self-esteem to be around them and see how they have things that I want (like say a relationship for example). Or I'll become attracted to them...but it's worse for guys if I become attracted to them (I will avoid them as much as possible). But then, what do I know? Apparently my current psychiatrist doesn't believe that I have AvPD at all...that I just have long-term depression, anxiety, and a mood disorder.