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Grand Magnate
Member Since May 2013
Location: Gallifrey
Posts: 4,166
10 882 hugs
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#1
I should probably post this in anxiety... but I think that's too busy and I feel more at home in either Bipolar of Avoidant.. so here I go.
1. I am getting very poor sleep at my friend's. I've addressed that I'm not sleeping well, but I haven't been able to tell them WHY exactly or ask them to maybe not be the cause of my poor sleep... I'm staying at their flat and I'm grateful so I just can't manage it. 2. Friend is being rather neglectful and has her bf as priority number 1 - I'm only in town MAYBE once a year and I'm not wanting to be here to just use their flat - I wanted to see her. We've gone for a few meals but not done much else (a few things in two weeks of staying), and while I wouldn't mind.... she and her bf just stay on their computers and play games and why has she had to cancel last minute on me so many times when I've stayed in the flat waiting for her?!? 3. I have been in multiple large crowds lately for street festivals. I wanted to go to them, but friend was supposed to come with me as being alone in them I find stressful. They bailed on two different festivals last minute - once when I was already there. 4. I am going to a comic con today. Friend isn't up or getting ready and we need to leave soon. I don't want to be there but the ticket is already bought. I feel physically ill right now because I don't want to be there alone (or struggle to find my friend) but I already paid and I don't want to miss out. I'm just worn out. 5. The night bus when I head home on Monday is really daunting 6. I don't want to see my pdoc on the 3rd 7. I don't know WHEN I'm seeing my T but I'm terrified to go see him. 8. I do not want school to start. I don't want to face my new class because they're a rather tough group coming to me. I just want to run away from it all! And I feel like a cry baby being stressed out about these things. __________________ "The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
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Anonymous33170, Bill3, pegasus
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Junior Member
Member Since Aug 2013
Posts: 22
10 |
#2
Panda, take deep breath and exhale slowly. Try not to bundle your future thoughts with your present discomfort.
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Junior Member
Member Since Aug 2013
Posts: 22
10 |
#3
I have also gone to an event only to turn around. Try to look at this as a small victory. You ventured out solo rather then not going out at all. If that were me I would think of a hundred reasons not go , then be mad at myself for not trying.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since May 2013
Location: Gallifrey
Posts: 4,166
10 882 hugs
given |
#4
I went. My friend made it on time. It was very disorganized and poorly planned and the communication of the venue was TERRIBLE - so the one thing I wanted to accomplish there I wasn't able to do, despite being there for opening!
But I lived. Felt like panicking and STILL feeling like panicking but I kept it together. Bought a few pretty prints from the artists that were around... but it was NOT worth the entrance fee and I still feel like crying. Consoled myself with lunch after, whereupon I drank 3 pints and I am clearly feeling that (not what I should or would normally feel, but I'm still learning my limits with being on meds. Not a happy camper right now, but I didn't panic. Just have too much on my brain, past, present and future. And I do know to try to only focus, but I have to head home tomorrow and that is a massive trigger for me. But being here right now is also a trigger, so having trouble finding a happy place. __________________ "The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
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