hope this is my last Aha!

So my psychiatrist today suggested that i may have AvPD. I hadn't ever heard of it. The more I've looked around on the internet including here, the more I have to admit it sounds like me. To one degree or another I identify with every symptom. I have 2 major concerns : 1. How do i know these aren't founded in reality and not a "personality" problem? My main resistance to social phobia dx was that I really AM socially inept. And my pdoc seemed to agree that my belief that my anxiety was reasonable is not consistant with social phobia. But don't they need to rule out some kind of social/behavioral impairment? Did any of you get screened for autism/asperger's disorders or anything else that would cause legit feelings because you are socially inept? It seemed like the more I empasized that I was inept, inferior, and there was something wrong with me, the more he wanted me to take a pamplet about AvPD and discuss it with my therapist. and yeah i get why. I just don't know how to accept that its the problem unless i get some solid evadence that I'm not justly evaluating my social abilities. What if my attempts are going to be met with rejection, disapprovial, and being shamed, because I am severly awkward and don't get how to behave around others?
2) okay assuming this diagnosis is correct, how is it going to help me? I've been here before where i go, "omg this is so me! this is whats wrong with me!", but it doesn't really matter in the end. Especially if its part of my personality won't it just be another label that explains my problems but has no cure.

Well... I'd guess that in many ways, if you had something that made you ACTUALLY socially inept, that you wouldn't really be aware of it.

AvPD isn't social phobia. They're similar, but they aren't the same. And if you are actually awkward - why are you awkward? What's causing the awkwardness? No one chooses to be awkward, so there's likely things below that are causing it.

Like... I totally believe that I am in fact inferior to others. My instincts are to go to that. But enough people have said enough things and I worked really hard and I can look at it on the one hand and go "... Actually I'm not, you know." and logically I know that I'm not. But I still fully feel and believe that I am. It doesn't make any sense, but it's how it is.

"What if my attempts are going to be met with rejection, disapproval, and being shamed..." Most people really don't reject or disapprove or shame people all that often. So if you solidly believe that that's how people will respond to you... yeah, AvPD could fit you really well.

And maybe knowing could help you. Or maybe it won't. Personally, I enjoy knowing. (Keep in mind, I'm only diagnosed bipolar 2!) I find that it gives me areas to research and read about, and it tends to make me think about other things and figure out how it all fits. Sometimes that helps me when I'm working on making changes, and I can remind myself that my brain just isn't working properly and that it needs to be retrained.