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New Member
Member Since Oct 2013
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 5
10 3 hugs
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Oct 22, 2013 at 11:14 AM
#1
I hate this. I am always letting my friends and family down because I don't participate in things. I just don't want to be away from home if I don't absolutely have to be. My pastor wants me to help out in the church clothes ministry, and every day they are open I come up with some excuse why I can't be there. He probably thinks I am an idiot. I couldn't even handle ON LINE CLASSES! How dumb is that???
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 Siftnsand
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Dancer in the Dark
Member Since Feb 2012
Location: somewhere, i think.
Posts: 5,330
12 2,829 hugs
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Dec 12, 2013 at 10:01 PM
#2
I don't think it's dumb, for what it's worth. I hope you're in a better place now then when you posted this. I have a difficult time engaging too. I also have a hard time not beating myself up over it. Patience has never been my strong suit.
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Account Suspended
Member Since Oct 2013
Location: Meridian, Idaho
Posts: 27
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Dec 17, 2013 at 01:21 PM
#3
This is pretty classic Avoidantism. My wife has a friend that is also an Avoidant. This person has the best intentions, but it very often does not work.
Her friend wants desperately to have friends and make friends. She tells my wife that she wants to get together for various things. Coffee, shopping and such. But when it comes to the actual time for them to get together, her friend always calls and cancels. Usually at the last minute. I understand this completely. But my poor wife does not. She just gets hurt by it. Last time, she cried all day. I can now see both sides. I understand Avoidants because I am one. I sometimes do the same things. I have come a long way to get over this, but sometimes the Avoidant still wins. We want desperately to have friends, meet people and be with people. But when it comes to it, we bail because we fear rejection, and we fear a let down. We figure that we are going to be rejected anyway, so we might as well reject them 1st and save the pain of being rejected by them. Its a nasty pattern. Last edited by sabby; Dec 18, 2013 at 11:16 PM.. Reason: administrative edit to bring within guidelines |
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| Siftnsand
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 maruf
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