Normals that try be put up with us (Avpd)

You know, I love being married. I am an Avoidant. My wife is what I call a normal. Though i am not sure there is such a thing.

But for the purposes on comparison, this is what I use.

I have learned a lot about normals and what they go through trying to put up with us. Its hard on them. I feel so very sorry for my wife having to put up with me.

My wife says that if she had known what she was getting herself into before she signed on the dotted line, she would not have done it. She would have run as fast as she could have.

Fast forward 11 years now. Its still ruff. She still have bad days. It happens. But at the end of it is commitment. The fuzzy feelings dont last.

Even in normals relationships, they dont last. In a relationship between a normal and an Avoidant, its worse.

We have to fall back on commitment.

As Avoidants, we tend to focus a lot on us. We tend to have huge pity parties with ourselves as the guest of honor.

Im not saying that being an Avoidant is not hard. Its probably one of the hardest thing there is. I dont want to downplay that in any way.

But at some point, we must stop the pity parties and the "woe is me attitude" and think about others. If we are ever going to have any hope of getting into a relationship with a Normal and eventually getting married to one, we have to learn to understand them.

We put Normals through a lot. Its beyond hard trying to be in a relationship with someone that wont fight, runs away from confrontation, and thinks of themselves and worse than scum.

We need to try really hard to put ourselves in their shoes. Which by the way is really cool since I run a shoes drive

We need to learn to function together. We have to try to understand the other person. Its hard, but it can be done.

It is sooo hard, but once you are in, you are in. I would highly recommend the battle. I think my wife would too.

I would love to hear stories from Nromals that are trying to be in a relationship with an Avoidants.

I'm married..not sure I believe anyone is "normal" (whatever that means)

I've been dxd with Avoidant personality (?) and my spouse has not ... He avoids conflict more than I do ...

He's a lovely person

I relate to the very very low self esteem (and massive anxiety ) of being "avoidant"

PM me if you feel like it (sometimes I talk more in PMs )

Interesting post, thanks

I wish my husband had your perspective.