I feel like I never left high school

*** I don't know if this is the best place to post this, but anyway ... ***

I feel like I never left high school. I mean that very seriously. It never ends.
I see six groups of people:

1. Authority figures I trust and like and want to make proud
2. Authority figures who scare me and whom I just want to avoid as much as possible
3. The majority of people, whom are pretty cool, I like them overall, but I don't expect to find much in common with in the end, so I have to kind of cautious around them
4. The vulnerable people I desperately want to protect, but can't
5. The cool people I really really admire and feel I have a lot in common with, but I don't expect to ever be a part of their world, much to my despair
6. Very unpleasant people shall we say ...who tend to be quite powerful at least within their cliques, and can seemingly get away with anything

There is a seventh group ... me ... you wouldn't want to be in that group, because it makes you want to exile yourself to a deserted island far from anywhere (perhaps Fantasy Island of Misfit Toys?) and sometimes contemplate feeding yourself to the sharks so as to improve the general quality of planet Earth.

And that's basically how I feel all the time. It never ends. I have had nightmares about this stuff sometimes. And it gets me very depressed. Meds don't work on this at all.

After a good night's sleep and some relaxation, I'm going to give myself a break - I recognize that this is probably normal to a degree, or at least understandable. I'm observing how my mind works and assuming there is something horribly wrong with it and that "everybody else gets it right" - socially phobic overthinking strikes again.

There are a lot of people in that 7th group you mentioned.... loads of people who feel like they're on their own. But they will have placed you into one of those first 6 groups.

(My own personal "groupings" of people... similar to your own:
1. People who I think I will get along with and who might somewhat like me
2. People who I think I'd like but who I don't think would like me
3. People who I think are nice, but that I know we wouldn't really get along.
4. People who things just seem neutral or whom I don't personally like.
5. People who are just plain jerks
6. People who I will like but who turn out to be plain jerks (unfortunaltey these ones are sneaky buggers!!!)

Yes I can relate to the high school feelings.
I didn't like being there.
My groups are similar
- those who generally are pleasant and polite, but don't wantanything more than the
superficial.
- nasty pretenders who use you
- the girl clique run by powerful manipulator
- authority figures who deserve respect.
- authoritu figures who force respect and obedience
- those who are sooo lovely you want to be with them alot, or be them, but you take it too far too soon!
- vulnerable people who you identify with and try to help

I generally avoid all but two, guess which?

Hey o2, my friend.

I can relate to all of your groups that you list but I don't necessarily think that they are exclusive to high school thinking. I think that we continue to catgoraize people in our lives throughout adulthood too but not so much related to cliques and popularity.

I agree and find myself in that seventh group. I have never known how to survive. I have just being gliding by. Survival of the fittest? Well, **** me. How the hell does one survive if all they want to do is hide? Life is hell. It truly is.

Hello again, Onward2wards. Be your own best advocate. You have much to offer the world. There is more to the world than a date with a crematorium and a columbarium.