Is it wrong if I am an APD

I'm just have enough to be rejected by my mom, this is not the first time she hurt me by her words.. I know I am an APD, my mom don't know it.. Last time I arguing with my mom, she told me "I'll lonely for my entire life, if I'm just steady with these life style.."
Did she know how hard I am to just speak with people, I'm always watch their face and lips, to make sure there's nothing weird about me.. Did she know that every time I want to chat with my friends, I always think am I bothering them or not, is they in a good mood to chat with me, what topic is need to chat with them.. I have many reasons just for chat with them..
I'm not lonely, I have few friends, they're all close friends, and I'm happy to have them..
The major college she choose for me made me know what depression like..
She's the dominant one in home..
She always want to win over everything, she always yelling when talk, she doesn't want to hear my opinion, if we're argue and then I silent just to let it go but she always force me to talk..
She never praise me even once since I'm a kid.. I'm trying hard to do everything she want, I choose major in college and senior high school which she want, she can crochet I learn how to crochet, she can paint I try learn it, she can sewing I learn it too, even when I win 2nd winner arithmetic competition she doesn't praise me..
And it become worse when I'm just come back to home for almost a year, and we have 4 or 5 fighting..
It's just my assumption, that maybe my mom is part of reason why I have APD..

Hi! I agree that your mom might certainly have helped to cause your APD. I am sorry you can't please her, but you might need to finally realize that she is likely unpleasable, so you need to live your life the way you want to--at least if you can get away from her one of these days.

I've been thought to leave home as soon as I get job, I don't want to always think what she may think of me..
Is that okay if after I leave home, I don't want communicate anymore with my family? And I even think if I'm marry I don't want my children know their grandparents, 'cause my mom once said she don't want to take care my children like grandma in front of home who take care her 3 grandchildren..

My mom is the same. Your mom has issues. She is unable to praise you. That is her problem, not yours. You do not need her praise. When you feel you desire praise, praise yourself. Praise from within is worth more than praise from others, which is based on their agendas and not yours. Yes, AvPd is environmental as well as genetic.

Overly critical mother + emotionally distant father = f***ed up human being: