pointless

I just wonder how are you supposed to get better, when you actually try to change but everything goes wrong, and you just end up falling into that dark place,yet again… you try to stay positive and try to keep going but things still get worse and you know that things are going to keep getting worse because it’s happened over and over again,year after year.

Putting on a front to friends and family to try and cover what’s actually going on doesn’t help either, it just makes things worse by making you feel ashamed and embarrassed.Tell them and they don't/won't understand anyway.Family stays,but only because they are afraid of what you might do if they go and friends just leave.

How do you stay positive when you don’t have the energy to deal with anything anymore, you struggle to get things done and you just feel empty and hopeless inside and like you can’t get anything right.

Nothing feels like it helps anymore so how are you supposed to get better?Hobbies are no longer fun.
Fun,there is no fun,no laughs,no smiles.

Every time I talk, I feel like I’m annoying people, like everyone is willing me to shut up and thinking what a complete and utter idiot I am. Every time they brush me off when I try to say something, it hurts so much it makes me want to die. I feel so intensely worthless.
So you become more avoidant and depressed as the years go by,because it's all pointless to try anymore.

Sorry guys,just needed to say this .No need to comment.

Sometimes... when you cry... no one sees your tears...

Sometimes... when you are worried... no one will see your pain...

sometimes... when you are happy... no one sees your smile ...

But fart just one time...

I'm glad you said the things you did. It meant you were getting them out of your system and into the open. That is a step forward. I can relate to what you said because much of it sounds like depression symptoms. I really liked the little poem at the end of the post, though.

G'day iwish

Perhaps you are doing much more than you realise.
Seems like you have allot going which does get difficult to manage.

Maybe simplify in the sense of reduce some of your commitments.

Snap

You don't talk about looking for help in the right place.
When I have a toothage, I go to the dentist.
It's clear that you are feeling now hopeless. Can you ask your family help with this? I would go to a psychiatrist just now.

I passed some depressions before and I know how desperated you can be. Let us. I wouldn't neither had felt like to express it in a forum.
Can you talk to your mum or dad.
I know you don't want to worry them but you have to find a say out.
There is a great difference between a person who is being treat to another who isn't.

You say everything in your life is a failure. But, this hasn't to be forever.
I was in the hell and now I'm in heaven.
The problem with avoidants is that we sometimes expect changes come on their own, and that's not happen. If you have a psychological problem you have to fight. In order to get the strenght you have to overcome your depression.

It's not bad. You can rant as much as you need, here. When you have had enough look for help.

Good luck, honey!

Snap,thank you
.Not having enough to do that is worthwhile might be my problem.Not really entitled to welfare,as I can't,sometimes won't get to my appointments every week.They then just cut me off anyway.Rural area with very few jobs in it for the young ones,let alone old farts,lol.Could pick apples,but the farmers only really put on the backpackers,cause they can treat them badly,if they choose,and locals won't get a look in much.
Being trying for over 20 years to sell my crochet,knitting and tie dye,but it doesn't sell much,and I don't make much more then the material costs,when it does.But ,I guess I still love to do it.
Hubby is full time carer for his mentally handicapped sister,(worse then me,she had the cord wrapped around her neck at birth).So she takes all our effort now,since his dad died 10 years ago:-/.Hubby has his own problems with her now.Not much help to me anymore.
Sorry babbled again.

Al,thank you to.
I wish I could get help,but not in the backward area I live in,unless I get taken to hospital with my wrists slit or something,they finally told me the truth the last time I tried for help.Of course if I had money,that would be a different story.

I don't think my GP can/will be of much help,she just writes out my script for serequel,which is not working much anymore.Oh she will send me to mental health again if I want,but the travelling psyche said he can only give me more drugs.The therapy he says I need,is not avaliable here.Have to go to city for that.Didn't even give me counsellor to ring.Told him I had my rope ready,but he didn't care.

Mum is basically where I got my hangups from and never knew my dad.1 son is alchoholic,so can't talk to him.The other son has his own family to take care of,and hubby has his hands full with his sister.Oh and my last friend has just moved away to far to go and see,but I never really confided anything to her anyway,because she has lots of problems of her own.I usually did the listening.

Well,at least I can come here from time to time

What!'a wrong in taking drugs for depression? I made and I'm still on them. If there is something can help me why not give it a try.
You cannot follow a therapy while you don't get some kind of balance over your depression.

Considering that you have no money to go to therapy, isn't there a support group in your town for people who has psychological issues?

I see that you have tried to look for help and i understand how you are feeling without any support.
Some people find relief in some kind of church... I don't know what to tell you.
If I were in your skin and the depression would't let me getting up from bed, as sometimes, I would go to the psych hospital for drugs. That's sure. And then, when I was feeling a little better I would involve in some kind of community work. Nice people used to work in these places, and this is what you need to know now.

Good luck!

My heart is very sad for you, iwish I frequently have episodes of depression, but 'knock on wood' they haven't lasted for more than a couple days. Do you enjoy animals? Many people find comfort in something as simple as feeding wild birds or foster care of dogs/cats from a shelter.

I agree *most of the time, infact * with Azul and think especially in your position meds are worth trying. Please keep us posted, I hate to think of how much you're suffering

I empathize with you.

Hi Iwishicould, just dropping a post in your thread to thank you for wanting to join my Unemployment Island Group. You're now a member.

In the U.S., the welfare system is also like that----it's hard to even qualify.

How do you stick the gifs? I want to stick some jokes pictures in the funny sociál group and I can't. I haven't tried it from my computer though. I try to do it from my i-phone.

Nonightowl thank you :-)

Al, I don't have a clue on gifs.I would ike to know to.

You must be referring to the cat reading a book in my signature. I copied and pasted it from my visitor page years ago! A member left it for me, and I think I opened the link to it in a separate window.

Then, I copied that into the field for "insert image". But it's been so long...

Actually, I suck at this kind of technology and have very limited time/access to the Internet. I managed that one picture, but I never try to change it. Afraid I'll mess it up, and I don't have time to fix it.

Be careful, as I read some images may have malware with them. But I don't know how you could tell. As I said, I'm not savvy at all........