Success Stories

I thought it would be helpful to post examples of success for Avies.
Big or small.

Has anyone benefited from gentle prodding from a therapist or loved one? Or pushing yourself to do something you didn't want to do and it turned out alright?

My small example would be: working with the public while having social phobia....it is a particular kind of hell at times. However, I am grateful for the practice of communicating and interacting with people it has forced upon me.

This fall I took part in a play. I had two lines, and was one stage only briefly twice to do those two lines. But I really had to go out of my comfort zone in every way imagineable - the way the costume was, how I had to use my body, how I had to change my voice, along with being ON the stage!

I've actually got quite a lot of "things" I can list off as successful challenges I put to myself. Some are big for a lot of people (like the acting!) and others would be really small for a lot of people but huge for me (such as getting a pedicure).

Yeah, I always had many possitive influences. So many that I don't know where to start with. As I already taked about people around me helped and help me so much in Snap66's thread about inspiration al people, I will talk about my las sucess.

I expressed clearly and in a confident way, as never before, an aspect that it was necessary to improve in my school, in front of about 30 coworkers.
I pointed out the problem even after my principal talked about all the things we have reached a long the course.
Then, after the summer, I took again the word and explained my ideas to improve.
Now, we are doing a course to improve that aspect.

I can't ask myself for moré.

P.S: A very possitive thread, GreenMoss! Thank you for that.

Mine for a long time was to simply to buy a cup of coffee.
Of course as soon as the idea entered my head I drowned in pre-thoughts long before I even was with-in a thousand million miles of a coffee shop (yes, ok i "may have, may have exaggerated a wee bit)

My pre-thoughts were building stronger the closer i got, hammering me with thoughts of, they wont have what i want, or I will forget what it is i want when they take my order.

Managed to order my long black.
While i waited I had thoughts that they have forgotten my order and im going to stand around looking like an fool... and should they ask me again what i ordered, i'll go blank!

Stupid coffee, should of brought a bottle of water.

Third gear.
Thinking i should i say something.
My mind is not letting up, but how the hell do i walk back up the counter and check if they have taken my order and if i can would they not think im an impatient fool for questioning their ability.

Finally i hear "long black"
Arrrr but my mind hasn't finished with me telling me perhaps someone else has ordered the same thing and i'm cue jumping? Aaraaaarrrrrrrrh!!

Get the dam coffee and make for the door... of course in a calm fashion lol

finally get out
*Holds coffee to the sky lion king style and roars"... "I have coffee ;-)"
Well, ok no cup raising... and certainly no roaring, but you get the picture.

I guess many people here can identify with you.
I was totally unable to look people in the eyes, when I was doing the exposure therapy, one of the steps was looking at people I saw in the street. I took it so seriously that some people say "hi" or "pretty". I guess they thought I was pissed and such.

Oh Snapp, I hear ya! One of my bigger challenges when I started out challenging myself was to simply ask for help in a store while looking for something.

I could be tooootttallly lost in a store and if an employee asked for help, I'd go "No thanks! Just browsing!" and then get out of that store asap, without what I needed. At this point, I can actually approach the employees to ask sometimes! Still feel paniced and like I'm a big old idiot wasting their time.... but I can do it. I was soooo proud of myself the first time one asked if I needed help and I went "Actually.... I'm looking for X."

I want to give a big applause for all and each one who post in this thread.
I don't want this thread to ends up .

I never liked hugging people, I've heard not liking to be touched is one of the symptoms of AvPD. I see other people hugging friends at work and socially, but the most I would do is shake hands. The last few months, since I started therapy, I do hug people once in awhile, I think they're surprised too. Do all AvPD's feel uncomfortable with physical contact?

You beat me. You have given two moré hugs than me in the forum. ;-)

For what I have read in the forums, avoiding physical contact is pretty common in avoidants and social phobia.

I'm not very comfortable with physical contact unless I know the person well.

I had and have a mother who never express affection through physical contact. She is better with words, so I am.
Anyway, I had the opportunity to get used to touching and being touched.
Here, in my country, people touch you when you less expect it. Lol!
It's a cultural thing.

I'm gonna give you a hug, don't run away. Lol!

Oh I have a hard time with contact too. I can give children hugs and affection easily, but not fellow adults. I can give a hug upon seeing someone I haven't seen in ages, or saying goodbye when I won't see them often. Even when others initiate a hug, I'm always sorta held back.

Another success story:
- the first time I went to a movie theatre by myself! This took almost 10 years of actively trying to convince myself to do it before I finally did. I went and watched Alice in Wonderland in Cardiff, because I was out for a walk and it started raining. Yep. It took heavy rain to finally get me to go in and watch a film on my own!

I can totally relate with the working with people thing, it forces you to go outside your comfort zone a lot. Another one for me is how one time I took two buses to go to school in two different cities. I know it's easy for a "normal" person to do, but for me it was a success. I would never usually do it and I survived lol.

I've had to watch movies by myself before. Mainly because I don't have someone to go with me. One time someone sat in front of me so I could not see and I had to give myself a pep talk- 'it's ok, it's ok to change your seat, no one will mind', lol,- I was afraid everyone in the theater would be staring at me irritated. The movie was in French and I couldn't see the subtitles and the idea of sitting through an entire movie I couldn't understand was motivating.

I know this feeling, lol. Triumph and relief

I still have trouble looking people in the eyes....and sometimes I smile and say Hello to someone passing by and no sound escapes my mouth, lol.

I'm usually really hesitant to give a hug- worrying it will not be welcome, so I try to ask first. When someone hugs me I'm flattered, lol, kinda comes as a surprise that they would actually want to hug me. The older I get the more comfortable I am with it. And I do know I'm lovin these hug buttons on PC, lol.

that would be difficult for me to do

Yesterday, I accomplish one of the steps I pointed out as the one to improve.
I asked for help and to do it, I had to interrupt a group of people. I did it with much less anxiety than I expected.

I'm wondering if the motivation to do something plays an important role in these cases, bc what I did is to ask for help to cure a little canary that is a bit ill.

Oh yes - motivation is a huge deal for me. A lot of my successes have been because it's either been something that I basically HAD to do (such as doctor appointments), something I really wanted for myself (hair appointments), or something that I just didn't want to regret not doing (such as travelling solo, going to live theatre solo, eating in a nice restaurant while travelling solo).

I used to be reluctant to go into the "quiet room" at the library. But now I can do it, though it still takes effort and I am tempted to change my mind.