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Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 126
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Feb 13, 2015 at 10:14 AM
#1
I have started reading How to Win Friends and Influence People. I've had the book for years - over a decade - but like Emotional Intelligence, I haven't been able to get through it.
The first chapter states, that ninety-nine times out of a hundred, people don't criticize themselves for anything no matter how wrong it may be. They rationalize, explain, use fallacious reasoning to justify their antisocial acts even to themselves, maintaining that they have been wrongfully accused. They don't blame themselves for anything, and they don't take responsibility for their actions. Al Capone, notorious public enemy said, "I have spent the best years of my life giving people the lighter pleasures helping them have a good time, and all I get is abuse and the existence of a hunted man." (I don't know why you're posting this in my thread. You're describing me perfectly, but you aren't talking about me...) The first principle of the book is: "Don't criticize, condemn, or complain." Not because it's "not nice." Because it is a complete and utter waste of time. Last edited by ck2d; Feb 13, 2015 at 10:38 AM.. |
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Feb 13, 2015 at 09:36 PM
#2
I have not read the book but am impressed with
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Account Suspended
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 126
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Feb 14, 2015 at 07:24 PM
#3
The next principle is: give honest and sincere appreciation.
The point is, that if you make people feel legitimately important, then you'll be able to influence them. He claims, that all people have a desire to be great. "Tell me how you get your feelings of importance, I'll tell you who you are. That determines your character." Here's another quote from the book: "People sometimes become invalids in order to win sympathy and attention and get a feeling of importance. Some authorities declare that people may actually go insane in order to find, in the dreamland of insanity, the feeling of importance that has been denied to them in the harsh world of reality." So, I guess, if you appreciate someone, but don't flatter them, you could save their mental health? |
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