A proper diagnoses

I write this thread bc there are many people who come here from time to time, asking them if they have this or that disorder.

I have found along these years of therapy and psychiatrists and meds, that there are many possibilities that I am another BPD bad dignosed.
Like there are avoidants and many other disorders bad diagnosed.
I think the problem is that the psychiatrist bases the diagnoses in the visible symptons such as, depression, social anxiety, avoidance...some others, it seems to me that diagnose the symptons to avoid putting the patient a label.

It's needed a moré long-term knowledge. To study the past and the evolution of the individual from her/his childhood or at least, from the adolescence.
Many times, the patient lives events that (s)he thinks as normal so they are not told to the therapist. (This is my case).

It's not easy to do an accurate diagnoses. I'm not concern about it bc I need this of that label. I'm gonna be basically the same person. What it is very uselfull to know is the right therapy to follow.

Well, I only wanted to share this with you and I'd like to know what you think about the topic or your own experience.

AzulOscuro, I understand your concern. There are overlapping symptoms for different disorders. The important thing is to not only treat an illness but to start the process of recovery and inventing a new identity. Sure you want to stay on medicine and therapy because that is helping too even if you have multiple dx's.

this can be by socializing, going back to school, doing hobbies, joining a group that shares your beliefs, practicing mindfulness, yoga or exercising. If you do these no matter what you are suffering from there is a probability your symptoms will be less pronounced and your focus will be less on overcoming a disease and more on reinventing yourself based on what you want to do with life.

If BPD is important to explore, here are some links
Psych Central - Search results for Borderline personality disorder symptoms

My therapist asked me for stop thinking so much about my condition, mainly bc she thinks I'm wrong. According to her, I haven't got BPD, but avoidant traits and some issues with dependency.
I even was convinced that I was a high functioning borderline and I was very worried for not being following the right therapy for this disorder.

Diagnoses are not easy to reach, so this is my main concern with this thread, telling people that if you need to have a proper diagnoses, consider if your psychiatrist has the whole picture. Don't be afraid of telling him/her.
Many are reluctant to give a label but many times the right therapy is on the blanket.

I also don't really need a "diagnoses" with regard to how I'm feeling. If AvPD is the closest that I can get and I am pretty much in agreement with 96% of the traits, then fine. That's what I am. Let's call it that. Everyone is different. The number of different psychologial "disorders" is nearly as long as there are people. All that matters to me is how I feel and how it affects my life. Whatever you want to call it, it's fine. I just need to find how to fix ME, and if attaching a label to it gets me there a little quicker, then good.

Loving and supportive hugs to you.

I think I understand where you are coming from. I havent been diagnosed but have a few traits, I wish my pdoc told me straight out what it was instead of me getting worked up over whatever the hell was wrong with me personality wise.

It's possible that you only have some traits and not a whole disorder. Or it's also possible to have two disorders at the same time. For example, AVPD is frequently found together with the DPD.

What I can't explain myself is how some psychiatrists treat us as if we were kids.
If you go to a hospital bc something is going bad, they make tests and then, give you a diagnosis. I also want to know what's going on in my head.

In relation to the therapy to follow, from what I know it is the same if you have social phobia or AvPD although the prognosis in the second case is not good.
But if you have BPD, some helpfull therapies are proven good results such as, dynamic therapy or mentalization.

Hi Azul, I think I know what you're saying....maybe? lol. I have spent 28years in and out of psychiatric services with several hospital admissions etc. I would present with anxiety, depression, alcohol issues etc. I was never really 'labeled' with anything until about 5 or 6 years ago where I got a diagnosis of Bipolar. I didn't agree with this so stopped taking Lithium. I was recently diagnosed with BPD and I know this is what I have plus I realize I also have AvPD....they overlap, as CANC says. I'm getting to what I think you mean....I was never able or given the opportunity to express what was going on with me. All the doctors or therapists saw was, anxiety, depression etc...they never asked how this was impacting on my life and what I thought were the possible causes. So, there was never a 'big picture' so how could there be a correct diagnosis. I do have hypomanic episodes (that feeling where I have no fear and think I can do anything) so they made a diagnosis of Bipolar which I believe is completely incorrect. So, basically I see what you're saying.....there are things and behaviors we see as 'normal' because we don't know any differently so don't ever mention these things so as a consequence doc and therapists are not dealing with ALL the information that is really necessary to attach a diagnosis, they don't think to ask and we don't think to tell. As a result, in my case, for example, this leads to decades of living a desperate, chaotic life, ending in ruins. Am I right, is this what you mean? Sorry if not and sorry for going off the point a bit.

Exactly! This is what I mean. I read in an article by a psychoatrist who has agreat experience in treating with personality disorders that borderline personality disorder is pretty difficult to diagnose due to the great variety of symtons and the disorder itself bc of the fluctuation of the symtons in short periods of times.

I wish you luck, now that you know your diagnosis.

Since you're in the UK (and I'm sure this happens elsewhere as well) I wonder if the doctors did in fact perceive some traits of a "personality difficulty" but didn't share this with you because of .... "underfunding" in the NHS. I hope you receive good support now that you've finally been "diagnosed"

Can I ask you what made you consider a BPD diagnosis and what made you dismiss it?

Years ago I was in treatment and I suggested to my therapist that I could have a personality disorder. It was our third encounter and he said something like "I highly doubt that". I understand he wasn't going to diagnose me, a teenager back then, with a life-long PD after my third session, but even then I could easily see myself as an avoidant or a BPD.

Right now I think I fall out of a BPD, though I'm not completely sure. I'm starting to suspect my mother has BPD and seeing her traits in me is scary. As for the AvPD, I'm pretty sure I have it. 98% of what I read about AvPD is simply... me!

Dismiss what?

Having BPD instead of being an avoidant with dependency issues...

Better not mention it bc you would laugh at me.
I'm quite influenced by others. And when someone points something to me about something that I'm not doing well...I look at myself to see if I can fix it.
So, there I went to my therapist and my psychiatrist with the DSM for borderline personality disorder.
Both denied it. I told my psychiatrist that it's not that I was scared of being whátever that my only intention was to get the right therapy and work on my issues.
He said that I didn't have to diagnosed myself. And asked me to let this on his part.
All I know for now is that I have avoidant tendencies ( my main characteric) and dependency issues ( this is new for me but it makes sense now if I look at my past). I'm still working with my psychiatrist so I don't have an official diagnosis other than the one I had some years ago. AvPD.

But, I don't deny what I wrote in this thread's first post. I read a lot about borderline disorder and I have three Borderline online friends. It's not easy to diagnose borderline PD. For the different reasons that I guess you know.

I printed the BPD DSM and took it to my therapist back then. Yes.
Felt so ashamed when I left the room. Oh my, I can still taste my shame.

The reason I did it was because of self-harm. I self-harmed from my 14s to my 20s and was clueless of how serious this was. I wasn't triggered by or "learned" this on the internet (I remember there was some sort of emo trend everywhere with kids self-harming years ago). When I found out about BPD and self-harm I was alarmed.

Even now I still relate to some BPD traits, but I think these traits are shared with anxiety, avpd or dependency issues.
For example, that "out of sight, out of mind" and the splitting things speak to me.The former is probably part of why I can't keep friends. Or when everytime my partner leaves my heart sinks. Sometimes when he leaves I'll bring myself to think he could've chosen me instead of the reason why he left, and that means he doesn't love me. Not to mention when I fight and out of impulse I say hurtful things I didn't mean and say I'm gonna break up just to regret it 30min later.

While I do deal with these better than I used to (I don't burst like in the past), I still feel these things and they're pretty real and painful. They suck my energy and make me feel guilty, make me question my personality. I don't think I have BPD, but I relate to some of it.

I also used to think people with AvPD were constantly feeling the need to "be social". In my case it's never clear if I want to be outgoing because I want to or if I'm feeling pressured to be someone "normal". I see that other people feel like this too.

I don't dismiss I can have borderline traits. In fact, I'm talking to my therapist about it, but I'm sure it's not the main characteristic in my personality.

I even was writing in the borderline forum for a while but I can't see myself reflected there, at least, in the most part.

I'm on the contrary, can say things that can hurt people but these things don't come from a borderline mind but from my guts, but even when I'm sure about what I told it and I know it's truth...I will look for an excuse or a reason to change it all or give it an explanation and I will apologize you for telling such a thing bc the most important for me is being accepted. Don't do something that can bother you.
I have an inner fight. An inner fight to be as honest as possible, be myself without a fear to not being accepted or liked by others. Don't know if it is closer to have a borderline mind or a dependent mind.

What did the therapist tell you? When you showed him the DSM, I mean?
I have now a friend who began DBT this week. I hope he will find some help. They say, DBT is one of the best to treat borderline. Did you follow this therapy?

He told me I probably didn't have it. It was, indeed, to early for him to consider it, I think. If I were him I wouldn't have told me anything, either confirming or denying the possibility, but he was probably acting like your therapist, trying to make me focus on what I felt.

I was reading this link here, and they list many traits that are known BPD traits. Many ressonate with me a lot, but I don't think I push my partner that much anymore, even if I do, sometimes, idealize a relationship where I could be away from the world - I'm pretty much aware of how dangerous this is.

When I think of it, I find that I act more out of fear of rejection than out of a need to be accepted. I don't see myself changing to be acepted, but I avoid situations because I don't feel I belong there. When I absolutely can't avoid it, I'll be quiet and uninterested. I tend to speak my mind, to be honest, and I'm used to a certain level of critique as the career I chose involves lots of it, sometimes of the harsh kind. I learned not to take it personally, but if I'm around people who are loud and/or criticize a lot, I tend to shy away and avoid saying things.

All I can tell you for sure is that if your issues affect your life, the best is to put yourself in a specialist hands. They see yourself from the outside and they are the ones who knows the best way to help you.
From your words I can see how you will improve along the time. Good for you. Well done. This is what it counts.

Thank you. I'm actually going through a moment of low exposure to triggers and I don't want to raise any expectations, but thank you.