Do you ever feel like you're completely invisible?

Do you ever feel like you're completely invisible? Like people don't even notice your existence.

Not anymore, no, but I felt like that in school.

Absolutely... though its then a game of reach-out/withdrawal tennis, where you want contact then should it happen you want invisibility again.

....and there are times when I don't want to talk or be seen.

I wish. I get noticed way more often than I feel unnoticed.

But if you want to be noticed, why don't you work with that? Do some self desensitization therapy. Try some eye contact or a smile when you're in a safe space in order to practice being okay with being seen. By safe I mean some place where you're sure you'll never run into anyone from there ever again.

unfortunately, yes - every single day. Even when I try and put myself out there, I'm dismissed - even by the people who claim to experience the same things I do - I'm dismissed by those people too. As difficult as it is, I'm not giving up yet - I know I can find people that will accept me as I am....I don't know where I'll find them, but I'm not giving up yet.... I hope you don't either.

Hey Quietmind,

Interesting question. I am curious - what do you mean by feeling completely invisible. Explain how you feel I want to know.

Absolutely I feel like I am completely invisible...

One could interpret your question many different ways. I assume you are alluding to how avoidant personality sufferers often feel separated from human beings and tend to feel, 'outside,' any form of social normalcy and connection... To feel like one does not exist - watching the world spin around him/her and feeling like life goes on without them... Even being around friends and family doesn't cut through this uncomfortable feeling...

If this is what you are asking then I definitely feel this way. Is this what you mean?

In fact the only way I seem to exist is when I am living in my parents basement due to another relapse. But once I am living on my own and I get free time I literally don't know what to do with myself - nor do I know what other people do to fill their time. It's as though I don't exist. So I sit there - alone - and may as well not exist. I can't even activate my facebook account because everyone has lives and girlfriends and careers... I am just this outcast who rarely if ever gets a genuine flavor of life... Do you relate?

Like Snap66 said, "Reach-out/withdrawal tennis," is definitely relevant. The push/pull dynamic... I hate being alone but I hate being rejected and abandoned... This is such a recipe for disaster and the perfect stew for inner conflict: classic man versus himself. What a crappy deck of cards we've been dealt!

But the problem typically lies with us. We may convince ourselves that we feel so separated because others hate us and rejected us - but the truth is we almost always do the pushing away - and that is what leads to our feelings of invisibility. We not only possess the power to push people away - we also possess the power to put ourselves out there and take a risk and pull people close in the process. This is like telling someone they should face their worst fears - but in all honesty: I strongly believe this is the answer to a lot of our problems.

I hope this helps,
HD

Even when we are invisible others still pass judgement... not to mention the thoughts in our head are adding fuel to the anxiety fire.

I always felt somewhat invisible. I used to be amazed if I walked up a street or whatever and someone said hello to me. I couldn't believe that they actually 'saw' me. I don't know if this is what you mean by invisible. I suffer from depersonalization/ derealization and I believe, for me, that is why I'm always taken aback when people 'include' me or the likes.

I feel this way a lot. And sometimes I'm even offended when someone tries to engage me in conversation.

I never know what to do with with myself either. Other people's lives just seem to fall into place.... one thing leads to another thing and their lives just roll out in front of them. I have so much trouble just getting mine started. Getting the energy to build up momentum to push myself in a direction that I am unsure of. I remember in the movie A Beautiful Mind he asked his wife "what do people do" and I thought 'yeah, me too, I wanna know what other people do'. When I'm well I try to get involved in groups or classes but nothing leads to anything.

This is such good advice.

Green you wouldn't know how reassuring this is to me

I've been drowning in correspondence of from someone who just won't stop.. I won't reply because thats like opening the flood gates.

I do have people who say G'day and that i do find that nice and welcoming but their not pushing me to that over smothering triggering point.

Thanks again

I get noticed too often (I hate it when people look me up and down . It's not my fault I'm a bear who was drug up by those who called themselves human .....

Indeed... It sure sucks

Your so welcome and thank you

Yeah, this makes sense to me. I'm a big fan of 'less is more'. I'm so grateful to the sort of people who offer a smile and a simple greeting and don't expect or demand more of me, I find them pleasant.

Obviously deeper connections are good too. But if a person demonstrates that they are incapable of leaving me alone when I need to be I drop them. That might not be the healthiest or most mature thing to do. But I feel like if they don't get how important my alone time/boundaries/privacy is- if they don't get that then they don't get me. And I've never been real good- or patient- at explaining myself to people whose personalities contrast mine. Maybe I will work on that.

But anyway, what you are going through is hard. Sounds like the more you try to get what you need- respite- the more they try to wriggle in. I'm sorry, I wish I knew a better way of handling this kind of situation.