Sudden realization

Hi, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder quite recently and have been all consumed by getting as much information as possible about it. Today, for some reason I glanced at this forum and wondered what it was all about. I read some posts and thought OMG, I have this too!! I took the online test and scored high and it said I may have AVPD. Between what I have been reading here and the questions in the test, it's like I've had a 'Eureka' moment. I have many of the BPD traits and meet the criteria but I feel I identify more with AvPD, does that make sense to anyone???? I've been hiding and avoiding my whole life and recently decided that I would spend the rest of my life in solitude and have never felt more safe and calm,,,,ever. Tonight I feel a bit down for some reason...not sure why. I will be checking in here on a regular basis as I feel it's more 'me' or something.
Thanks....

Many diagnoses(dx's) have overlapping symptoms. Often closely linked dx's can be treated with similar meds.

You might want to discuss with your pdoc how meds are working.

I have tried going into solitude but the need for human contact, even virtually is too strong in me to allow that.

Want to research more? Go to Psych Central - Trusted mental health, depression, bipolar, ADHD & psychology information. and search in upper right corner of page, may have to scroll up.

Thanks CANC, I see that there are many overlapping symptoms and finding out more about this can help me piece together exactly my behaviors since I was a child and maybe the 'why's and 'where's'. It's helpful to know. I, too, need to connect to the outside world either by phone or internet but am happy to not leave these four wall. I hope this mindset will change in the future as I think I'm cheating myself out of a fuller life. Thanks again.

I know this is forward of me, but i do say this to give a inch of insight into AvPD for you.

After reading all your posts, you don't seem to display Avoidance. Although Avies come from different backgrounds and circumstances there is a common thread that connects us that seems to be recognizable from one Avie to another.
Plenty people have anxiety issues that lead them to hold back or hide away, but that isn't AvPD. For example AvPD is my core issue your's is perhaps BPD? and you have symptoms or traits of avoidance as a result or reaction caused by your core being BPD.

Welcome.

Thanks Snapp66, How do you know that I'm not a AvPD with BPD traits? How do you know it's not my core issue and that traits of BPD are a result of AvPD problems. I'm not saying that you are wrong, I would just love if you could point out to me the reasons why you believe that, because I really want to know. I would really appreciate if you could take the time to tell me so that I'm not telling myself that I have both disorders. lol. Thanks

Having both BPD and AvPD seems very unlikely to me as the behaviour in the two is almost completely opposite, even though low self esteem is a major issue for both.
I sometimes feel like I have the emotions of BPD with the behaviour of AvPD. I have borderline traits but the AvPD is so much stronger.

We can give our opinion on what we think but no one here can give you a correct diagnosis. But for what it's worth, I also don't think your posts sound like someone who has AvPD.

Maybe I could jump in and answer?

Just your post here has a really big clue. I will misspeak. Please bear with me. But you come off as really aggressive. ("How do you know?" - why have a go at someone when you're the one asking the questions? if you're not going to trust that you'll get informed answers, here, why post here at all?) Avoidant people are pretty shy. Now, you poke us with a stick, we will defend ourselves. But - and, yes, this is stereotypical, but you're asking for impressions - generally BPD has a reputation for being aggressive, bold, in your face, and AvPD has a reputation of being meek, quiet, reserved.

When I say aggressive, I mean, you posted that and directed it to someone else, but you were so confrontational that I wanted to go hide in my cave and it wasn't even aimed at me. Yes, I understand I'm sticking my nose in where it doesn't belong maybe. But if I saw a post directed to me like that, it would take me days to respond, so here I am butting in, and maybe getting you a response much more quickly. Who knows. And I'm not saying I'm speaking for the other person, just giving my impression.

Also, AvPD is very commonly self-diagnosed incorrectly. It's almost impossible to have the distance to really see what's going on. People tend to attribute qualities that happen every once in a while, or there is an urge to stay away from confrontations or something like that. They confuse the term "avoidant" for "avoids something." Totally different things.

It can be very damaging to self-diagnose as avoidant, because there is no treatment or cure. Borderline - that's great! Seems maybe on the surface like you don't want that, but I've known Borderlines who have been treated and they're just about normal. Yes, it's a lot of work doing the therapy. But you'll be normal! Don't limit yourself before you even get started.

Maybe you're just an introverted Borderline. Sounds like an oxymoron, but they actually do exist.

Hi HPocus,
My post was not written with the intention of being aggressive, not at all, and I'm sorry it made you uncomfortable. I am not an aggressive person by nature. You misinterpreted what I said 'How do you know' etc..My intention was to learn how do you know the difference, and I cannot believe that you have replied to me the way you have. I think you are being very unfair, plus, I feel that you paint all BPD's with same brush. I am not a 'bold and in your face' kind of person and I never was. If you think my post was 'so confrontational' well, I don't know what to say, actually, I think yours is very confrontational. It's quite offensive really.

Guys, you can call me idiot but I don't see agressiveness anywhere.

I only saw Nicky being honest by telling that she made an on-line test and asking for a clarification to a remark and Snap saying that it's better to talk this with the clinic bc there are many possible psychological issues that lead a person to avoid situations.
An online test is not of much help.

G'day Nicky,

I guess two things stood out to me. One being how many posts you replied to.
Avies are very concerned with criticism from others and more importantly themselves. Within themselves its like a ever constant burning fire, and with afterthoughts it rages up with our mind taking us through various emotions. To write in lots of threads only increase the chance of being criticized which means we have to monitor and follow that thread while walking on emotional ice. so you can see thats something an Avie wont contemplate . We tend to be ready depending on the responses from others and ourselves to go into damage control when we do finally respond or even ask a question. I guess im trying to say we wont comment to every post on here. We are selective and have to be quite prepared.

The other is all the wonderful things that you mentioned that you are good at (as written in other thread on here). One thing we would never even do simply because we have low self worth and low self esteem and to say we are good at something is a form of compliment in which we don't and wont accept. I did enjoy reading what you're good at and hope you do add to that list too

Sorry i took so long to reply. I have replied a couple of times now but i ended up deleting them.

Hi Snaps,
You're assuming that writing comments come easy to me, not so. I have just written a new thread which I had to write out on paper many times and then when I did write it deleted it several times but as I felt I had to defend myself here, I had to submit it no matter how it sounded. You also assume I take compliment easily, I do not. I am unable to. I wrote what I thought I was good at in a thread where several other member did the same thing but I wonder have you called all them out on writing on their abilities and talents? I have not responded to every comment here. Would it be possible for you to understand that reading about this disorder and identifying with it, that I thought that this was a safe place for me. This doesn't seem to be the case at all. Furthermore, I find both you and another member to be quite patronizing. I hope that you do not treat all newcomers this way, as it's very upsetting. I'll leave it at that.

You asked a question, and got an answer. At least 3 people gave you the same answer, and no one said they thought you have AvPD. I'm sorry you didn't get the answer you wanted to hear. Explaining how someone thought through their answer is not patronizing. We are not doctors. Listen to your doctor and get treatment.

I understand that you feel upset. I was in your situation and worse bc I was diagnosed with AvPD.
Don't feel bad for listening to other people's opinions. I know it's hard. Think that they maybe right or maybe wrong or partially right and wrong. And in tge end, we are here to support to each other.
Said that, it's not easy to know someone through writing language or online. You miss a great part of the information.

As I told you the best is to talk to a professional.

i'm sorry if you don't like what I'm gonna tell you but you pointed out a person's agressiviness and each time I read a post by you, I see agressiveness.
I would like to see the same carefull to people you don't consider avoidants that you have with avoidants.

Nicky, I wasn't writing to upset you, i was writing to answer your question to me.

...and I'm sorry that you didn't understand the depth in what i had said... but these two little things to an Avie are quite significant and have internal ramifications.

You have the habit to annoy people and then, you point them out because they get angry. Lol!
Is it also an avoidant trait?

Nicky, if you see yourself reflected in avoidant traits, talk openly with your therapist. (S)he will clarify your doubts. You can arise any topic with him/her.
(S)he is the best in diagnosing you.
Most of the times, personality disorders are not found in a pure way. And perhaps, you could have a tendency to avoid situations but you also would have to work on issues that has to be with the first diagnoses you recived.

Don't be afraid if you have borderline traits. They are treatable.

I wish you luck with the professionals.... (I'm also in the UK and frankly have not been impressed...). Keep posting here, we're here to listen

Personally I think it's quite possible to have Avoidant pd and borderline traits. I haven't read enough of your posts to form an opinion if that's what I think you have I think it's likely that borderline pd is helped more by the NHS (in some cases) but I'm no expert (I completely distrust them after a couple of appalling experiences )

Unluckily, I don't think she will come back.

I don't think she will come back, either, but that's a pity because I've read many posts by Nicky and I really like her.

I just wanted to give out my opinion, as I have been diagnosed both with BPD and AvPD.

I too didn't think this was possible, as these two disorders seem to be complete opposites. My ex-T used to think I was avoidant, but I never believed a word she said about this subject. In the end I went to a renowned center where they treat personality disorders, did visits with pdoc and tests with a psychologist, and it clearly came out I have both. This said, my main issue is definitely BPD, whilst AvPD is a secondary issue, although not unimportant. I have 5 AvPD criteria, which is maybe not much, but enough to get a diagnosis. The pdoc said I must be torn, because the two disorders are so conflicting and that I must be one who desperately seeks relationships while at the same time desperately avoiding them. Which is exactly the case.