[Tangerine87]

I'm always feeling like I'm the back up friend in some of my friendships, and it just hurts.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Tangerine87

I'm always feeling like I'm the back up friend in some of my friendships, and it just hurts.

Do you mean (back up) as a second option friend or as a friend the others trust in and tell him/her their secrets and problems?

[BreakForTheLight]

That sucks.

I feel you! It sucks if your expectations of your friendship doesn't align with theirs. We usually don't have that many friends, so a single one might be really special to us. It hurts a lot and they don't even realize that you suffer. Please don't think any less of yourself, it's just the way other people are.

I'm sorry.

When I've had friends I've felt like the third wheel before. I've also been in friendships where I was the one they could count on but not the one that they had fun with.

People are selfish by nature. It means a lot if you ever find someone who's also genuinely interested in you and not only talk about themselves. I do have such a one sided contact atm that I wouldn't even call a real friendship! Maybe we are too needy for attention that we can't quit such an unhealthy relationship.
It's a vicious cycle to think you are no fun to be with, which in turn makes you avoid people even more and so on. Please don't think badly of yourself, I'm sure you have a lot to offer!

[gayleggg]

Originally Posted by Tangerine87

I'm always feeling like I'm the back up friend in some of my friendships, and it just hurts.

You're right it does hurt to feel like you're second choice. When I feel like that I remind myself that I'm not necessarily their only friend but it doesn't make me less important or less liked.

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