What negative sideeffects does APD give you?

Hoasis · Sep 14, 2015 at 03:30 PM

Hi! So lets cut right to it, I got APD, no friends, no close relationship with my family, job I like but no colleagues I can call friends. Anyway I have struggled with food my whole life because of APD. My weight goes up and down like a yoyo. I have nothing to look forward to in life so really the only "pleasure" I have is food like icecream, pizza, beer, chocolate etc...and this gives me the beautiful "michelin rings". And this again beats down my confidence. So my question to all of you, do you have any negative things you do that is because of APD? Like drugs, abuse whatever.... please share your story...hope I am not alone in this

BreakForTheLight · Sep 15, 2015 at 01:14 PM

The worst side effect of AvPD for me is depression.

That's what leads me to the same issue with food. Loneliness -> chocolate -> get fatter -> hate self more -> eat more chocolate.

Goliad · Sep 18, 2015 at 02:46 PM

My socially unfulfilling life leads to depression. I was doing weed for a few weeks to escape from the depression but it gave me psychosis. So I learned that drugs are especially unsafe for my brain even though they are very tempting when I'm feeling especially pointless and under-stimulated.

Lately it has been sexual frustration and thoughts of self harm. I haven't thought of cutting for many many years, but I've been wanting to. Increasing sense of desperation and recklessness.

A Red Panda · Sep 19, 2015 at 06:22 PM

When I'm out drinking, I end up drinking a LOT because I enjoy the fact that I stop caring and can let walls down - also because I drink small sips but quickly, and I drink even quicker if I'm nervous.

I burn bridges with friends.... I can't talk about the things that upset me involving them, and instead.... I just cut ties, even though I don't want to. Or if I think I've upset them, I cut back all attempts to contact them because I don't want to upset them further.

My food habits are also a viscious circle, but I attribute that to bipolar.

I do, however, totally neglect any exercise because I can't handle the thought of anyone seeing my red face - it just cripples me and I can't. And then I can't at home because of such low self esteem.

Things like that I guess.

Sep 19, 2015 at 08:00 PM

Its becoming increasingly noticable how much these traits have shaped me.

My main support system of the last few months has been online. I have had friends try and take me out of the house but the anxiety has been unbearable, so I always cancel.

I work alone in constant fear of someone unexpected turning up.

Food has become an escape again recently. I tried drinking again the other night but the following depression and hangover was not worth it at all. I smoke occassionally but its dependent on money.

Depression, sometimes mild but still almost always there. Really dragging me down.

Sep 21, 2015 at 11:34 AM

No friends or relationship, depressions, self harm, alcohol and coffee abuse, overeating, pulling my hairs out.

However I'm trying to focus more on positive and constructive things like jogging nowadays, because I'm sick and tired of feeling bad all the time.

Sep 21, 2015 at 07:42 PM

I get the food thing. I'm right there with ya. Pizza & ice cream.

My main thing is sleeping. I'm chronically late for work. Sometimes 14 to 19 hours. I'm not sure why. There is nowhere else I'm more comfortable than being dead to the world. Also since I have avoidant traits and the way I've lead (perhaps not lead) my life.... I just don't have a reason to wake up, I have nothing to wake up to.

My fear of looking stupid and making mistakes. I avoid doing things that could cause these. So my field of things that would potentially make me look stupid and make mistakes keeps getting wider and the things I can actually do keeps getting narrower. And it just throws me way behind of the normal milestones people go through. So, like now, I'm feeling somewhat healthy and confident but the fact that I've never tried these things holds me back. What would people think.... they would think something is wrong with me.

Sep 21, 2015 at 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

I burn bridges with friends.... I can't talk about the things that upset me involving them, and instead.... I just cut ties, even though I don't want to. Or if I think I've upset them, I cut back all attempts to contact them because I don't want to upset them further.

This makes sense to me, I do this too.

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What negative sideeffects does APD give you?

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BreakForTheLight Grand Member Member Since Jan 2015 Location: Europe Posts: 852 9 211 hugs given	Sep 15, 2015 at 01:14 PM #2 The worst side effect of AvPD for me is depression. That's what leads me to the same issue with food. Loneliness -> chocolate -> get fatter -> hate self more -> eat more chocolate.
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Anonymous37813 Guest Posts: n/a	Sep 21, 2015 at 11:34 AM #6 No friends or relationship, depressions, self harm, alcohol and coffee abuse, overeating, pulling my hairs out. However I'm trying to focus more on positive and constructive things like jogging nowadays, because I'm sick and tired of feeling bad all the time.
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