Too anxious to make life decisions

Hey, most of you don't know me, but I need somewhere to post this.

Since I finished middleschool, at an age of 18-19, ( comparable to highschool in america) I went to a university to study mechanical engineering. However I fell flat on my face, I went to rent an appartment with a highschool friend who went to do the same study. Slowly we didn't get to like eachother anymore. We basically never went to university and smoked weed all day, being on each other lips 24/7. Also not knowing any other person in that city or university. made me depressed and unmotivated to finish my study. It took me 9 months into the 3rd year to tell my parents I didn't want to continue.

I then went and get a parttime job. Now I have found a job where I work 30-40 hours a week and tried to find a place to rent and move out of my parents home. this came to my realization that having minimum wage really sucks, REALLY.

I found another study that I might be interested in, civil engineering. It won't start till next year september (the school years just started, so I'm a bit late)Yet I feel anxious about even applying to the studies.

What if it turns out I don't like it and waste another 5k+ of my parents money? What if I do like it, but I get another meltdown, like during my previous attempt at a university study? I'll be a month off the age of 25 when I will start the study and around 30 when finished ( with masters, 28 w/o), am I too old? Will that make me super awkward around the 18-20 y/os who just got started, besides already being awkward with my AvPD?

Hello Althuzia: Your post reminded me of a reply in a newspaper advice column I once read. A reader had written in saying that she was x number of years old. She wrote that she was thinking of going back to school. But she wondered if she'd be too old when she graduated. In her reply, the columnist wrote: so how old will you be in x number of years if you don't go to school?

Of course, there are always what-ifs. One never knows where a venture will lead when one is first starting out. And having had an unsuccessful experience previously does make the whole affair seem more risky. But at 25 you're still very young (take my word for it...) You're certainly not too old to be giving school another try, assuming that this is something you want to do.

Many years ago, when I was your age, I was in-&-out of college like a shuttlecock. I had very undistinguished academic career to say the least! The difference, I suppose, was that I was paying for it myself. So, if I wasted a bunch of money in the process, it was all on me. Having your parents paying for your education does add an additional stressor to the whole situation. Would it be possible to take a few courses on a part-time basis, while you continue to work in order to see how you like this new field before your commit time & resources to full-time study?

Personally, I just wouldn't worry about the age difference. I don't know how things are in the Netherlands. But here in the U.S. there are always people of all different ages taking classes. And individuals, for the most part, just gradually find other students who are in similar circumstances to themselves, & they band together. I would surmise that you would be able to do the same. Good luck!

Yeah something to think about, right: What's the alternative? At 30 years old you're working in the same (or similar) job you are in now. probably wishing you had gone back to school 5 years ago.

Look, I quit my first univeristy study program one year away from graduation and started a new one. I'll be 30 when I graduate and I don't regret it.

Yes, it gets me to think I'm late in life and that I should be making my own money by that time. I hate to think that if I had at least graduated in my previous study I could qualify for a stable job and stop being a burden at home, but I don't regret the choice I've made and I don't think you will. Go ahead!

And since you don't have a graduation I insist that you go ahead with your idea as a long-term strategy. Consider what kind of financial stability level you need in your life, what kind of job you can take (I, for example, realized I can't work at jobs that require me to be social or where not being social might be bad for me aka the regular corporative workspace) and realize that a graduation can open possibilities for you.

For example, in some countries, civil service offers steady jobs that require you to be graduated but you can't be fired as long as you do your work and you won't depend on other people to do it neither will miss promotions because you're not the most popular one around (because of the steady career plan). Also, most employees have free time to develop their own activities, like those you couldn't make a living out of but still want to dedicate some time to.

thanks for the replies guys, as of today i still haven't signed up for the studies starting next autumn. even though my job doesn't pay very well, i like my colleageaus. and i think I am clever enough to go for a manager function if i keep working there.

I'm still thorn and doubt if I will ever make up my mind.

also sorry for the small necro. I've been avoiding this thread out of fear what your replies actually might have been.

Well almost 3 months after the opening post, I've finally gotten around to apply to some studies.

I've applied for a Study/Job in the hospital, I'll be earning salary already while starting the study, I'm really hoping i get elected for this.

next to that i've applied to another study, but this is "lottery" study where the people who will be invited will have to be drawn by lots, so it's not certain that I will get accepted for this aswell.

The last study has no lottory whatsoever and because i fill the admission requirements, i'll most likely get selected for this.

I feel so good about myself as this is something i've been putting off for almost 2 years and i've finally gotten around to it, before it's really too late.

Well done, good luck with your applications!

Fantastic